The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

While

some people believe that the

government

should be responsible for providing

retirees

with financial

support

and

care

, others argue that

citizens

should save

money

to take

care

of themselves when they are old. Both

point

Fix the agreement mistake

points

show examples

of

views

Fix the agreement mistake

view

show examples

and

Add an article

the reason

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reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

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why I agree

the

Change preposition

with the

show examples

former statement will be elaborated on in

this

essay.

To begin

with, it may seem sensible for some to believe that the

government

should provide monetary

support

and

care

for the elderly who have left

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the labour world.

This

is possibly because

retirees

should get those

benefit

Fix the agreement mistake

benefits

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in return

of

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for

show examples

their

hardworking

Correct word choice

hard work

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as they already paid

for

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apply

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the taxes and play a vital role

of

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in

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country's

Correct article usage

the country's

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economics

Replace the word

economy

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.

For example

, in Europe, there are various policies that

support

the retired elderly in several

aspect

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aspects

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such

as medical

care

, transportation, and financial

aids

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aid

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. The

opponent

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opponents

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of

this

idea might not

satisfy

Wrong verb form

be satisfied

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as they

view

Verb problem

believe

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that

the

Correct article usage

apply

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citizens

should

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

plan and manage their

money

in advance in order to prepare for the

retire

Replace the word

retirement

show examples

era. In

this

respect, it

can

Verb problem

is

show examples

understandable that the cost of living after retirement should not be from the

government

funding as it can cost the country's debt. To illustrate, in order to provide services,

care

, and facilities aiding the

retirees

require

Correct subject-verb agreement

requires

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money

. The country alone already

have

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has

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a huge amount of expenses so

that

Correct word choice

apply

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the family or the

retirees

themselve

Correct your spelling

themselves

should manage their own

life

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lives

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instead

.

However

, I personally argue in favour of the

government

as the sponsor seeing that

they

Add a verb

they are

they were

show examples

responsible for taking

care

of its

peoples

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people

show examples

. Despite the fact that people must take

care

of their own

life

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lives

show examples

, lack of

government

support

can imply

as

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apply

show examples

negligence of its

citizens

.

To simply

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Simply

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explain,

by

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apply

show examples

not providing

aids

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aid

show examples

with

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to

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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retirees

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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many of

them

Correct pronoun usage

whom

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are elderly at home can leave more burden

to

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on

show examples

the family especially

the

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with the

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rise

of

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in

show examples

expense

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expenses

show examples

. Take Thailand,

for example

: there are not many

policy

Change to a plural noun

policies

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to

support

the retiree as some

benefit

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benefits

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offered by the

government

were

Wrong verb form

are

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limited

people

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to people

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. In conclusion,

although

it is undeniable that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

citizens

should

saved

Change the verb form

save

be saved

show examples

their

money

for retirement, the

government

should

support

their

retirees

financially and

care

support

in order to relieve the burden

of

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on

show examples

the family

as well as

to

shows

Wrong verb form

show

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gratitudes

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gratitude

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for

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to

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those who have worked so hard for the

coutry's

Correct your spelling

country's

economic growth.