Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In
contemporary
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the contemporary
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era, crimes are occurring
everydays
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everyday
every day
. It is widely believed that
evey
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every
criminal
comitting
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committing
the same crime should always receive
the
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an
show examples
equal level of punishment
while
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there is another view insisting that
punishiments
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punishments
punishment
should be different by their living
enviornments
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environments
environment
.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives and present the opinion. On the one hand, giving the same
punishments
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to the criminals who commit the same crimes maintains the equality of the law.
This
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means that when a specific situation of crime occurs, every result will be
same
Correct article usage
the same
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as
whomever
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whoever
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individuals are.
Consequently
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, it demonstrates the law is equal for every individual, which could lead to an equal society.
On the other hand
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, punishing
people
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differently for their circumstances of living could be
appropriate
Correct article usage
an appropriate
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ways
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way
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to give aid to the socially disadvantaged. It is common
senses
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sense
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that
this
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type of person has a high possibility of committing crimes.
Therefore
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, authorities should comprehend their disadvantaged environment
such
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as poverty and orphans, and give them proper
punishments
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.
Moreover
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, they must help
people
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who are negatively affected by their environmental factors to live as normal members of citizens through welfare policies. In conclusion, to give fixed
punishments
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illustrates that the law is equal for everyone whilst different ways of
punishments
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by
people
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could effectively save disadvantaged
people
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.
However
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, it is agreed that punishing
people
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differently could lead to a stable society.
Thus
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,
this
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type of punishment should be implemented by the government
Submitted by benheo5936 on

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Task Achievement
Make sure to develop your examples more thoroughly to support your arguments better. Providing specific, detailed examples can significantly strengthen your points and make your reasoning more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Try to avoid general statements and focus on providing more detailed arguments and examples. This can make your response stronger and more compelling.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on enhancing the transitions between your paragraphs and ideas for smoother flow. Though your essay has a logical structure, improving the cohesion through better linking words or phrases could make your arguments even more coherent.
General
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and typos to enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction sets a clear framework for discussing both views and indicating your opinion, which is excellent for essay coherence.
Task Achievement
You've successfully presented and discussed both sides of the argument, demonstrating good task achievement.
Task Achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and restates your opinion, which is a strong point in any essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fixed punishments
  • consistency
  • predictability
  • deter crime
  • potential offenders
  • streamline
  • judicial process
  • bias
  • corruption
  • complexity
  • human behavior
  • circumstances
  • justice system
  • intent
  • remorse
  • socio-economic background
  • rehabilitate offenders
  • recidivism rates
  • flexible punishment systems
  • inconsistencies
  • perceived injustices
  • public trust
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