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Band 4.5

The two bar charts show the proportion of 14-16 year-old students studying a modern foreign language in an English Speaking country and the top three popular foreign languages. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The two bar charts show the proportion of 14-16 year-old students studying a modern foreign language in an English Speaking country and the top three popular foreign languages. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The two bars illustrate the percentages of students studying ages between 14 and 16 years old, There were interesting new
languages
Use synonyms
 in English,
While
Linking Words
 the most popular three
languages
Use synonyms
 students chose were French, German, and Spanish between 1984 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, In 1984, the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of the student group aged from 14 to 16 years, were contemporary in English,
In contrast
Linking Words
, In 2007, the proportion of teenagers decreased significantly,
In addition
Linking Words
, the three ranges of the subject in 1984 had per
cent
Use synonyms
 highest half of French, German and Spanish,
while
Linking Words
 top three
languages
Use synonyms
 had per
cent
Use synonyms
 roughly one in four in 2007.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, in 1984, there was 49 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of girls studying in English subjects,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest was 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of boys.
However
Linking Words
, In 2007, it was clear that there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 40 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of girls,
in contrast
Linking Words
, there were 25 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of boys.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 1984, the most popular of the
languages
Use synonyms
 interesting for students was 50 per
cent
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of Germans was 20 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 was 5 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 2007, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of French, German, and Spanish was under 25 per
cent
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, in contrast, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words languages, percentage, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • modern foreign languages
  • English-speaking country
  • demographic
  • participation
  • gender disparities
  • trends
  • popularity rankings
  • analyzing
  • implications
  • cultural factors
  • economic ties
  • global job market
  • increasingly globalized
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