Some people say that increasing price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some would say that the best method for solving the traffic and pollution problem
that is
being caused by petrol use is to inflate its charge. This
essay disagrees with that statement because it can because
Correct word choice
apply
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
harms
lower middle-class society who need petrol in their everyday work. Correct subject-verb agreement
harm
Furthermore
, there is a better solution to stop the rising traffic and pollution dilemma. For example
, the procurement of public transport.
We need to remember that the only group of crowd who feel disadvantaged by the increase in gasoline prices is not the upper class because they can always afford to pay whatever the price of gas is. But it's the middle to lower community that is
mostly affected by it. For instance
, fishermen have to buy diesel fuel to sail. Therefore
, surging fuel prices will only create new trouble
A better solution to this
problem is the development of reliable public transport. That way, the number of vehicles on the road will decrease. Moreover
, congestion on the roads will be reduced and the quality of the air people breathe will improve. Take Jakarta for example
, because of the MRT and LRT people now have an option other than to use their personal ride.
In conclusion, This
essay disagrees with this
statement because it can be detrimental to lower
middle-class population who need fuel for their daily work. Add an article
a lower
the lower
Additionally
, there are better solutions to stop increasing traffic and pollution issue
. Fix the agreement mistake
issues
For example
, providing public transportation.Submitted by Azami
on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. While your essay has these elements, refining this approach can enhance clarity and the strength of your arguments.
task achievement
To improve your task achievement score, try to fully address all parts of the prompt. Discuss both sides of the argument (even if you're taking a clear stance) and provide more balanced, detailed examples to support your points.
language
Watch out for repetitive phrases or ideas. Try to vary your language more to demonstrate a wide range of vocabulary.
structure
You've done a good job structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
example usage
Your paragraph on public transportation as a solution to traffic and pollution is compelling and well-supported.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
