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Writing Samples
Band 7

The diagram below shows a simple system that turn dirty water into clean water. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

The diagram below shows a simple system that turn dirty water into clean water. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
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The diagram illustrates the process of turning dirty
water
Use synonyms
 into clean
water
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there are four main stages in making drinking
water
Use synonyms
. It starts with pouring unclean
water
Use synonyms
 into a tank and ends with having a fresh glass of
water
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the plastic lid of the first barrel will be pulled up for pouring the contaminated
water
Use synonyms
 which is collected from any sources into the barrel. The
water
Use synonyms
 passes through three layers comprising sand, charcoal and gravel in order to segregate dirt or unedible substances from the unclean
water
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the second storage drum is set below the first one
due to
Linking Words
 the
water
Use synonyms
 always moves from the higher to the lower point. The clean
water
Use synonyms
 from the previous procedure runs through a small pipe in order to
store
Wrong verb form
be stored
show examples
 in the second drum.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a tap is installed in the bottom part of the storage,
thus
Linking Words
 people are enable to turn it on to get the drinking
water
Use synonyms
.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • filtration system
  • gravel layer
  • sand layer
  • charcoal layer
  • impurities
  • boiling process
  • bacteria
  • microorganisms
  • condensation stage
  • purified
  • contaminated water
  • potable water
  • transformation
  • capture
  • remove large impurities
  • remove small impurities
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