The presence of technology in the classroom has become more and more apparent and offers students tremendous resources with which to supplement their education. Given time, technology will completely replace the traditional teacher in the classroom. Do you agree or disagree with the above statement?

In general
by
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apply
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passing time students get involved deeply with devices, apps and artificial intelligence in school,
hence
, some people
blive
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believe
show examples
that technology is going to delete the
old school
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old-school
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ways of teaching and even the teachers.
Although
this
imagine
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image
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is unbelievable, I certainly agree with it. Technology is taking a place in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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as if the
Internet
which most people could not live
with out
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without
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it more than 20
houers
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hours
. As an example, for all
usual
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our usual
show examples
daily
tasks
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tasks,
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we get dependent
to
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on
show examples
our
smart phones
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smartphones
show examples
which
is
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apply
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connect us to the
internet
, finding
easiest
Add an article
the easiest
show examples
way of cooking to navigate and when
children
see these happening all the time, they are going to model these
habbits
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habits
for their life even when they are in classroom and try to learn new things. So a useful thing like the
internet
shall be the best
tranner
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trainer
for
children
if it is for adults.
Secound
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Second
thing which is going to have some effects
in
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on
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man
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man's
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life, artificial
itelligent
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intelligence
intelligent
, could easily replace the traditional teachers with
itself
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themselves
show examples
, how? Each person has their
oun possetive
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own positive
and negative
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
that could not let
children
get mach
whith
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with
that person,
on the other
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
an artificial
itelligent
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intelligence
intelligent
could be so flexible and it helps to have better
infelouence
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influence
in
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on
show examples
children
.
For example
, students pass their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
by
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with
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their smart apps more than their family these days and it shows
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how cool
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the apps are. So it is so difficult to compete with artificial
intelligent
Replace the word
intelligence
show examples
. In conclusion,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
and artificial
itelligent
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intelligence
intelligent
as the most
poweful
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powerful
and hight-tech technologies that man
ever
Add a missing verb
has ever
show examples
seen could make us more addicted
by
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to
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comfurt that give
to
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apply
show examples
us and best
knowing
Replace the word
knowledge
show examples
of human needs,
therefor
Correct your spelling
therefore
show examples
, they could be the future teachers of our classrooms.
Submitted by viewsoysoongnern on

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Spelling/Grammar
Consider revising your essay to ensure correct spelling, including 'blive' to 'believe', and usage of terms ('artificial itelligent' to 'artificial intelligence'). These small errors can distract from your overall message.
Structure
Improve the coherence of your essay by organizing your ideas more logically and clearly. Use paragraphs effectively to separate distinct ideas and ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next.
Content Development
Develop your main points with more specific examples and detailed explanations. While you have introduced relevant ideas, further illustrating these with concrete examples or evidence would strengthen your argument.
Argument Clarity
Enhance your task response by addressing the prompt more directly and thoroughly. Be sure to articulate your agreement or disagreement with the statement clearly and provide a comprehensive exploration of your reasoning.
Topic Engagement
Your essay effectively acknowledges the significance of technology in education, which is a strong foundation for your argument.
Effective Conclusion
The conclusion provides a clear standpoint, summarizing your viewpoint effectively. This strengthens the overall impact of your response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized learning
  • adaptive learning technology
  • immediate feedback
  • digital divide
  • democratizing education
  • holistic education
  • empathy
  • interpersonal skills
  • blended learning
  • traditional teaching methods
  • nuances
  • interpersonal dynamics
  • motivate
  • accessibility
  • additional practice opportunities
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