Some people argue that art, such as paintings and music are a waste of money and and the government should spend this money on pubic service To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #art #paintings #music #waste #money #government #pubic #service

Nowadays, in many countries spend a lot of money

for

Change preposition

show examples

art, painting and music.

However

, some people disagree

this

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with this

show examples

statement. It would be better

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

spent

this

money on public services, like roads,health care,

puplic

Correct your spelling

public

transport and education. I strongly agree with

this

statement.

Firstly

, every

country

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country's

show examples

Correct your spelling

government

goverment

wants their citizens

live

Fix the infinitive

to live

show examples

in good

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

and

welfire

Correct your spelling

welfare

. It is very important.

Although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

there are many problems

Change preposition

with

show examples

living conditions, some

countries

Change noun form

country's

countries'

show examples

goverment

Correct your spelling

governments

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

found

for

Change preposition

show examples

art.

For

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

South

Korea

Correct your spelling

Korean

show examples

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

spent annual

budjet

Correct your spelling

budget

for

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show examples

music,

as a result

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

citizens disagree with them.

Secondly

, we can see many people want to move

cities

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to cities

show examples

as in villages poor education, bad

heathcare

Correct your spelling

healthcare

health care

Correct word choice

and no

show examples

electrcity

Correct your spelling

electricity

. It would better

Correct article usage

the goverment

show examples

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

give their attention

these

Change preposition

to these

show examples

issues.

For

instance

Add a comma

instance,

show examples

these days in our

regionhas

Correct your spelling

region has

been building blok of

apartmens

Correct your spelling

apartments

apartment

. It has many opportunities to live like

Correct article usage

a sport

show examples

sport

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sports

show examples

centre, school ,

kindergarten

Correct word choice

and kindergarten

show examples

. People of our village

happy

Add a missing verb

are happy

show examples

that it is getting

urbazination

Correct your spelling

urbanization

By the

Change preposition

The

show examples

way

Change preposition

show examples

conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that

puplic

Correct your spelling

public

service

Add a verb

service is

service was

show examples

more important than

to spend

Change the verb form

spending

show examples

money

for

Change preposition

show examples

art, painting and music.

Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on Thu May 09 2024

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logical structure

Ensure your essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion to improve logical flow.

coherence cohesion

Use a variety of linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

introduction conclusion present

Make sure your introduction and conclusion distinctly present your argument and summarize your key points.

supported main points

Develop your main points with more specific and varied examples to strengthen your argument.

clear comprehensive ideas

Clarify your ideas in each paragraph, aiming for more detailed explanation and analysis.

relevant specific examples

Incorporate specific examples, statistics, or case studies to support your arguments and improve relevance.

complete response

You clearly stated your position regarding government spending on art versus public services.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your essay touches upon several important aspects of public service needs versus spending on art, providing a good foundation for your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

182 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

preservation
vital
essential components
fostering
continuity
economic benefits
job creation
psychological benefits
stress reduction
promote creativity
enhancement
balanced approach
complements
innovation
crucial skills
government investment
societal role
tourists
local spending
public services

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Some people argue that art, such as paintings and music are a waste of money and and the government should spend this money on pubic service To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case ? do you think this is a positive or negative developement?

Some people feel that boarding schools (where students or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion.

Young people often copy the behaviour of famous people, so celebrities should only be allowed to advertise healthy food or drink and should not encourage unhealthy habits such as smoking. Do you agree or disagree?

More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The use of mobile phones has increased rapidly in the twenty-first century. Additionally, cell phones can now be used for many purposes besides making phone calls. What are the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones?