Some people argue that art, such as paintings and music are a waste of money and and the government should spend this money on pubic service To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays, in many countries spend a lot of money
for
art, painting and music. Change preposition
on
However
, some people disagree this
statement. It would be better Change preposition
with this
goverment
spent Correct your spelling
government
this
money on public services, like roads,health care, puplic
transport and education. I strongly agree with Correct your spelling
public
this
statement.
Firstly
, every country
Change noun form
country's
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
wants their citizens live
in good Fix the infinitive
to live
condition
and Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
welfire
. It is very important.
Correct your spelling
welfare
Although
,
there are many problems Remove the comma
apply
in
living conditions, some Change preposition
with
countries
Change noun form
country's
countries'
goverment
Correct your spelling
governments
spent
found Wrong verb form
spend
for
art. Change preposition
on
For
example
South Add a comma
example,
Korea
Correct your spelling
Korean
goverment
spent annual Correct your spelling
government
budjet
Correct your spelling
budget
for
music, Change preposition
on
as a result
, their
citizens disagree with them.
Correct pronoun usage
its
Secondly
, we can see many people want to move cities
as in villages poor education, bad Change preposition
to cities
heathcare
, Correct your spelling
healthcare
health care
no
Correct word choice
and no
electrcity
. It would better Correct your spelling
electricity
Correct article usage
the goverment
goverment
give their attention Correct your spelling
government
these
issues. Change preposition
to these
For
instance
these days in our Add a comma
instance,
regionhas
been building blok of Correct your spelling
region has
apartmens
. It has many opportunities to live like Correct your spelling
apartments
apartment
Correct article usage
a sport
sport
centre, school , Change the noun form
sports
kindergarten
. People of our village Correct word choice
and kindergarten
happy
that it is getting Add a missing verb
are happy
urbazination
.
Correct your spelling
urbanization
By the
way Change preposition
The
of
conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that Change preposition
In
puplic
Correct your spelling
public
service
more important than Add a verb
service is
service was
to spend
money Change the verb form
spending
for
art, painting and music.Change preposition
on
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logical structure
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion to improve logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
introduction conclusion present
Make sure your introduction and conclusion distinctly present your argument and summarize your key points.
supported main points
Develop your main points with more specific and varied examples to strengthen your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify your ideas in each paragraph, aiming for more detailed explanation and analysis.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate specific examples, statistics, or case studies to support your arguments and improve relevance.
complete response
You clearly stated your position regarding government spending on art versus public services.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay touches upon several important aspects of public service needs versus spending on art, providing a good foundation for your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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