Nowadays more and more children acquire unhealthy eating habits. Why is it happening? What can be done to solve this issue?

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In
this
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contemporary world, an increasing number of
children
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are developing unhealthy dietary behaviours
due to
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parental neglect referring to
meals
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together with
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children
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lacking fundamental
nutrition
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education. Yet,
this
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can be tackled by the school adding
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nutrition
Correct article usage
a nutrition

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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educating
Replace the word
education

The word educating doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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curriculum for
children
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. The root cause for more and more
children
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having bad eating habits is how careless
parents
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are when providing
meals
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to their
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Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

child
Fix the agreement mistake
children

It seems that child may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
That is
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because
with
Add the comma(s)
, with

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter with the heavy workload in today's fast-paced life. Consider adding the comma(s).

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the heavy workload in today's fast-paced life, most
parents
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find it
struggle
Correct article usage
a struggle

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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to spend their time planning and preparing
meals
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for their families. With
this
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in mind,
parents
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tend to prioritize convenience over
nutrition
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by frequently opting for fast
food
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or unhealthy foods that
are
Verb problem
have

There may be a verb use issue here.

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high-calories
Correct your spelling
high calories

The word high-calories doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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in their family's
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals

It seems that meal may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
Consequently
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, family
meals
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and eating patterns can negatively shape
children
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's
attitdes
Correct your spelling
attitudes
attitude

If you don’t want attitdes to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

towards
food
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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which a
child
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

become
Change the verb form
becomes

The verb become does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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accustomed to and even
turn
Correct subject-verb agreement
turns

It seems that the verb turn does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to these convenient but unhealthy options. Another reason why there is an inclination to adopt unhealthy eating habits amongst
children
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is the inadequate basic knowledge about
nutrition
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possessed by a small
child
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.
In other words
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, unless having proper education about
nutrition
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and healthy diets,
children
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may not only lack the skills to prepare healthy
meals
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and
snack
Fix the agreement mistake
snacks

It seems that snack may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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but
also
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not understand the importance of making nutritious
food
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choices.
Moreover
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, unhealthy foods, with its delicious taste and attractive outlook, are far more appealing to
children
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than other types of
food
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.
Thus
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, without a true awareness of nourishing
food
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, the temptation of an unhealthy one is not likely to be resisted by the
children
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.
However
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, incorporating lessons on
nutrition
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and healthy eating habits at school can help
children
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break the habit of consuming unhealthy foods. Simply put, integrating
nutrition
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education which
cover
Change the verb form
covers

The plural verb cover does not appear to agree with the singular subject nutrition education. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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topics
such
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as
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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food
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groups, portion control, reading
food
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labels or the benefits of a balanced diet allows
children
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to learn about the importance of healthy eating
anf
Correct your spelling
and

If you don’t want anf to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

the imperative correlation of
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

action with one's
overall
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well-being.
For instance
Linking Words

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, should the teachers
ultilize
Correct your spelling
utilise

If you don’t want ultilize to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

a nutrient ladder recommended by the healthcare department as a demonstration when teaching
children
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, those
children
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will have a chance to know the essential nutrients needed for each day. In conclusion, more
children
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acquiring
an
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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unhealthy eating
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits

It seems that habit may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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stems from the dietary ignorance of
parents
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

coupled with
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the shortage of basic
nutrition
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

knowledge within a
child
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, an additional curriculum focusing on educating about
nutrition
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

at school is required to address
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

issue.

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Structure and Clarity
Try to ensure a clear and balanced structure throughout your essay. While your essay is well-organized, a more distinct separation between causes and solutions could enhance clarity.
Supporting Examples
Expanding on the examples provided could deepen the reader's understanding of the points being made. Specific, real-world instances or data that support your arguments would add strength to your claims.
Grammar and Style
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and work on varying your sentence structures to further enrich your writing style.
Task Response
You've effectively addressed both parts of the question, outlining the reasons for unhealthy eating habits in children and proposing solutions. This demonstrates a good understanding of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay features a coherent argument and smooth transitions between ideas, which aids in maintaining the flow of your narrative.
Lexical Resource
You have used a variety of vocabulary related to the topic, showing a good range of language.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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