Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays
because
Change preposition
apply
Change preposition
for
of
many reasons Change preposition
for
such
as hard situations in Linking Words
life
it is a good idea to permit Add a comma
life,
children
to make their own Use synonyms
choices
. Use synonyms
This
Linking Words
lead
to better Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
Use synonyms
decisions making
Correct your spelling
decision-making
outcome
for their future. Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
Linking Words
However
others have an opinion that if Add a comma
However,
children
make their own Use synonyms
choices
on everyday subjects it can have negative consequences in differentUse synonyms
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
in
Change preposition
of
community
Add an article
the community
a community
such
as individual personality. We will consider both sides of the discussion in Linking Words
this
essay.
On the one hand, opponents have a frame of mind that, if Linking Words
adolescence
have Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
authorize
on their everyday issues it can Replace the word
authority
leads
to many irrational Change the verb form
lead
out come
in society Correct your spelling
outcomes
such
as selfish and Linking Words
incontrollable
new Correct your spelling
uncontrollable
generation
. Fix the agreement mistake
generations
For example
, because of raising youth by their own Linking Words
Use synonyms
choices
Add a comma
choices,
this
leads to educate many rebellious who only think about their own wishes. Linking Words
Furthermore
, Linking Words
adolescence
can not Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
to
recognize right between wrong. Change the verb form
apply
This
is a huge Linking Words
issues
that can be dangerous for Change the noun form
issue
community
.
Add an article
the community
However
, proponents have an idea Linking Words
for
immaturity Correct word choice
that
to make
Change preposition
in making
decisions
can Use synonyms
then
be used in distinct Linking Words
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
in
their life Change preposition
of
that
Linking Words
is
essential for them in different situations. Correct subject-verb agreement
are
For instance
, if youngsters can decide about their issues in their childhood Linking Words
this
Linking Words
lead
to Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
have
momentous Change the verb form
having
experience
in their life which can be effective Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
foe
their next Correct your spelling
for
decisions
. Use synonyms
Moreover
, making Linking Words
decisions
by teens in their childhood could impact Use synonyms
on
their future. Change preposition
apply
Because
Correct word choice
This
this
leads to Linking Words
train
Change the verb form
training
children
who can be independent in their future living.
In conclusion, I would tend to side with the opponents because making Use synonyms
decisions
by teens can lead to being selfish. Use synonyms
Linking Words
Moreover
it is comprehensible for some to accept youths allowing Add a comma
Moreover,
children
to make their own Use synonyms
choices
.Use synonyms
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Task Achievement
Give specific examples to support your points. This helps to make your argument more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more logically. A clear introduction, well-developed body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion would improve readability and coherence.
Task Achievement
Avoid general statements. Aim for clarity by providing specific details and examples.
Task Achievement
You've discussed both views and provided your own opinion, which is good for task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your writing attempts to link ideas and arguments, showing an understanding of the need for coherence.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?