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Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph shows the average number of weekly patients visiting four clinics of a hospital from 2010 to 2016.

The line graph shows the average number of weekly patients visiting four clinics of a hospital from 2010 to 2016.
#line #patients #four #clinics
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Contained in the image is information relating to the number of
patients
Use synonyms
 who visited the hospital for different illnesses between 2010 and 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that all the categories saw an increase with the exception of birth control, which remained unchanged.
Additionally
Linking Words
, birth control and eye are always higher than the other types throughout the time frame. First of all, the number of eye
patients
Use synonyms
 increased slightly to exactly 150
people
Use synonyms
 in 2012. After that, it rose significantly and reached 300
people
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
. The figure of
people
Use synonyms
 who go to the hospital for birth control fluctuated from the beginning and turned back to the starting point of just under 250
patients
Use synonyms
. Turning to the remaining statistics, diabetes saw a gradual increase from 60 to 90
people
Use synonyms
 between 2010 and 2014.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, it grew to 18
patients
Use synonyms
 in 2016. The number of dental
patients
Use synonyms
 started at exactly 100
patients
Use synonyms
 at the beginning,
then
Linking Words
 it decreased to nearly 50
patients
Use synonyms
 in 2012 before increasing to approximately 130
patients
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words patients, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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