The bar chart below shows Scotland’s exports to the rest of the UK and the rest of the world for the year 2014.

The bar chart below shows Scotland’s exports to the rest of the UK and the rest of the world for the year 2014.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The illustrated bar chart depicts the exports of Scotland to other countries of the world and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK

Your article usage with the geographic name UK may be incorrect.

show examples
. Generally, we can the that Business and Restaurant services are noticeably more than
another spheres
Replace the adjective
another sphere
other spheres

The adjective another appears to be modifying the plural noun spheres. Consider replacing it with the adjective other.

show examples
. We can see from the data that exports for
rest
Correct article usage
the rest

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
of the world
is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject exports for rest of the world. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
considerably different from exports to the UK,
for instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in
retail
Correct article usage
the retail

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
sphere
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Correct determiner usage
these

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

show examples
numbers
differs
Change the verb form
differ

The verb differs does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
for
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
almost eight times with indexes 8.2 per
cent
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and 1.1 per
cent
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

respectively.
By contrast
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in
electrical
Correct article usage
the electrical

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
engineering
sphere
Add a comma
sphere,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in electrical engineering sphere. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
the situation is
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
, with 2.3 per
cent
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and 4 per
cent
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
world’s
Correct article usage
the world’s

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
countries and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK

Your article usage with the geographic name UK may be incorrect.

show examples
respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are slight
distinction
Fix the agreement mistake
distinctions

It seems that distinction may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
between several spheres like manufacturing of food and other manufacturing with numbers of 5.8 and 5.9 per
cent
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

respectively. The least impact for the export is given by agricultural, forestry, fishing and mining sphere with only three per
cent
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: