The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart provides key information about the
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
and
drink
Wrong verb form
drinking
show examples
habits for
coffee
and tea for Australian individuals by studying in various cities
Sydeny
Correct your spelling
Sydney
,
Melnoume
Correct your spelling
Melbourne
,
Brisbane
,
Adeleide
Correct your spelling
Adelaide
and Hobart.
Overall
, It is clear from the graph that
Melboume
Correct your spelling
Melbourne
showed a
siginificant
Correct your spelling
significant
ratio
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
people
Correct pronoun usage
who visit
show examples
visit
Wrong verb form
visited
show examples
a cafe for
coffee
or tea in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
month.
In addition
, Hobrat showed a
curcial
Correct your spelling
crucial
percentages in bought instant
coffee
.
Whereas
, Both
Brisbane
and Adelaide showed a modest proportion in bought fresh
coffee
in
last
4 weeks.
To begin
with, both
melboume
Change the capitalization
Melboume
show examples
and Hobart at the peak of people went the cafe for
coffee
and tea around 64%,
While
in other terms Harbort showed a
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
ratio
than
Melboume
around 55%.
However
. Sydney showed a critical
increace
Correct your spelling
increase
in crowd
visit
Correct subject-verb agreement
visits
show examples
Change preposition
to the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
in the same period almost 61%.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Brisbane
and Adelaide showed a minor
ratio
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to the other cities. In terms of people
prefer
Correct pronoun usage
who prefer
show examples
to
bought
Change the verb
buy
show examples
fresh
coffee
, Sydney
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
the lead
approximately
Change preposition
at approximately
show examples
45%.
melboume
Correct your spelling
Melbourne
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
second by 43%.
Additionally
, Both
Brisbane
and Adelaide showed a similar
ratio
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
34%. Harbort City 37%.
Submitted by zaidamrat5 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, brisbane, melboume, ratio with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 7 times.
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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