IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many cities have installed cameras in public places in order to reduce crime. However, some people think that those cameras restrict our privacy. Do you think the advantages of this system outweigh the disadvantages?

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The article and the lecture introduce different opinions about using
of
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apply
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computers in vote counting during
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the election
an election
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election
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elections
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. These opinions will be discussed and compared.
First,
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the author in the reading passage describes the situation when people can make
mistake
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a mistake
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 by choosing
wrong
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the wrong
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 candidate because of small text
in
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on
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ballot
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the ballot
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 and it can be magnified in case of using
computerized
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a computerized
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 system. The lecturer
doubtful
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was doubtful
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 about
this
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 advantage pointing out that there are still many people who
can struggling
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struggle
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in mastering
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to master
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 new technology.
Second,
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the writer introduces the problem of correct vote counting in
case
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the case
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 of manual counting by humans and states that
computer
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computers
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 eliminate people’s mistakes. Again, the professor disagrees explaining that since software is created by
human
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humans
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 it may have incorporated and unidentified errors.
Finally
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, the article pushes forward the idea of nationwide use of voting technology providing of successful example of
IT-banking
Correct your spelling
IT banking
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. The speaker opposes
this
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 point of view by showing that
this
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comparing
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comparison
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 is not accurate because
banking
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the banking
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 system is functioning on
the
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a
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 daily basis and discovered mistakes are already fixed, which is impossible to do in
voting
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the voting
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 system since it can operate once in two years. He considers
this
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 circumstance as
significant
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a significant
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 obstacle
on
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in
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 the way of development and improvement an appropriate software.
To sum up
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it is clear that
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 the author and the lecturer have different opinions on
this
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 topic and they could hardly find
the
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a
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 common point and agreement
in
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on
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introduced
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the introduced
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 issue.

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task response
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the topic and stays focused throughout.
task response
Develop a clear thesis statement that guides your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas logically, with clear progression from one paragraph to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Use varied sentence structures and transitional phrases to enhance flow.
task response
You effectively introduced differing perspectives on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The comparison between reading passage and lecture provides a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • surveillance
  • deterrence
  • apprehension
  • infringement
  • omnipresence
  • law enforcement
  • evidence gathering
  • privacy concerns
  • surveillance state
  • unwarranted surveillance
  • psychological impact
  • paranoia
  • crime investigation
What to do next:
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