Some people argue that art, such as paintings and music are a waste of money and and the government should spend this money on pubic service To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
A considerable amount of
people
have Use synonyms
opinion
that Add an article
the opinion
an opinion
Use synonyms
government
should allocate money Correct article usage
the government
on
public Change preposition
to
services
rather than Use synonyms
on
paintings, arts Change preposition
to
amd
music, which is Correct your spelling
and
waste
of money. I agree with Correct article usage
a waste
this
statement because there are many Linking Words
areas
, especially villages where these Use synonyms
services
are not available Use synonyms
such
as roads, Linking Words
transportaion
Correct your spelling
transportation
system
, Fix the agreement mistake
systems
besides
, Linking Words
institues
for education and hospitals.
The Correct your spelling
institutes
institute
services
Use synonyms
are
not provided by the Correct pronoun usage
that are
government
are hospitals, schools and colleges Use synonyms
to
some Change preposition
in
areas
where Use synonyms
people
still suffer and have to visit rural Use synonyms
areas
to take Use synonyms
benefits
of Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
services
. Use synonyms
For example
, Linking Words
i
Change the capitalization
I
need
to attend college after finishing Wrong verb form
needed
my
high school and Correct pronoun usage
apply
i
Change the capitalization
I
have
to Wrong verb form
had
went
Change the verb
go
in
another city because Change preposition
to
in
our area, there was not any single college for Add the comma(s)
, in
further
study. Linking Words
Moreover
, some villagers visit urban Linking Words
area
to take health Fix the agreement mistake
areas
facilites
Correct your spelling
facilities
due to
the lack of clinics in their village. Linking Words
In addition
, if Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
is
suffering from Change the verb form
are
the
serious condition, it could be difficult for Correct article usage
a
people
to go to Use synonyms
hospital
right away. Add an article
the hospital
Thus
, authorities should spend money in Linking Words
underdevelop
Wrong verb form
underdeveloped
areas
which is beneficial for the Use synonyms
people
and their children's future.
Use synonyms
Furthermore
, Linking Words
In
some countries have problems related to transportation and roads which Change preposition
apply
is
still Correct subject-verb agreement
are
underplanning
because as we know Correct your spelling
under planning
that
the Correct word choice
apply
government
never Use synonyms
fulfil
their promises. Wrong verb form
fulfils
For instance
, in Linking Words
punjab
, there is Change the capitalization
Punjab
highway
from Add an article
the highway
a highway
khanna
to Change the capitalization
Khanna
gobindgharh
which Change the capitalization
Gobindgharh
is
still under construction Verb problem
has
from
many years Change preposition
for
due to
the changing of political leaders. Linking Words
Also
, there are issues Linking Words
of
some transportation Change preposition
with
system
in some Fix the agreement mistake
systems
areas
where Use synonyms
people
still walk and use Use synonyms
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
vehicle
for commuting. Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
Therefore
, authorities should provide some transportation system to that area as well.
Linking Words
To conclude
, Linking Words
people
are suffering from many difficulties because they do not have access to Use synonyms
get
these Verb problem
apply
services
and the Use synonyms
government
should help to provide these to Use synonyms
public
by building roads and education institutes not on arts, painting and music.Add an article
the public
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Logical Structure
Focus on developing your argument with a more structured approach. An introduction, followed by body paragraphs each addressing a single aspect with clear topic sentences, then a conclusion summarizing your stance helps in clarity and coherence.
Cohesive Devices
To enhance the readability of your essay, make more use of cohesive devices such as conjunctions, synonyms, and transition words between sentences and paragraphs. This smooths the flow of your argument.
Specific Examples
Your essay reflects a good attempt at covering the topic, but you could improve by including a wider range of specific examples and evidence to support your points further.
Sentence Variety
Pay attention to avoiding repetition and ensure variety in sentence structures. This not only aids in clarity but also makes your argument more compelling.
Task Response
You presented a clear stance on the topic and maintained relevance throughout the essay.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, reinforcing the argument made.
Use of Examples
You successfully utilized examples, though more specificity could strengthen your argument.