Some people argue that art, such as paintings and music are a waste of money and and the government should spend this money on pubic service To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
A considerable amount of
people
have opinion
that Add an article
the opinion
an opinion
government
should allocate money Correct article usage
the government
on
public Change preposition
to
services
rather than on
paintings, arts Change preposition
to
amd
music, which is Correct your spelling
and
waste
of money. I agree with Correct article usage
a waste
this
statement because there are many areas
, especially villages where these services
are not available such
as roads, transportaion
Correct your spelling
transportation
system
, Fix the agreement mistake
systems
besides
, institues
for education and hospitals.
The Correct your spelling
institutes
institute
services
are
not provided by the Correct pronoun usage
that are
government
are hospitals, schools and colleges to
some Change preposition
in
areas
where people
still suffer and have to visit rural areas
to take benefits
of Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
this
Correct determiner usage
these
services
. For example
, i
Change the capitalization
I
need
to attend college after finishing Wrong verb form
needed
my
high school and Correct pronoun usage
apply
i
Change the capitalization
I
have
to Wrong verb form
had
went
Change the verb
go
in
another city because Change preposition
to
in
our area, there was not any single college for Add the comma(s)
, in
further
study. Moreover
, some villagers visit urban area
to take health Fix the agreement mistake
areas
facilites
Correct your spelling
facilities
due to
the lack of clinics in their village. In addition
, if people
is
suffering from Change the verb form
are
the
serious condition, it could be difficult for Correct article usage
a
people
to go to hospital
right away. Add an article
the hospital
Thus
, authorities should spend money in underdevelop
Wrong verb form
underdeveloped
areas
which is beneficial for the people
and their children's future.
Furthermore
, In
some countries have problems related to transportation and roads which Change preposition
apply
is
still Correct subject-verb agreement
are
underplanning
because as we know Correct your spelling
under planning
that
the Correct word choice
apply
government
never fulfil
their promises. Wrong verb form
fulfils
For instance
, in punjab
, there is Change the capitalization
Punjab
highway
from Add an article
the highway
a highway
khanna
to Change the capitalization
Khanna
gobindgharh
which Change the capitalization
Gobindgharh
is
still under construction Verb problem
has
from
many years Change preposition
for
due to
the changing of political leaders. Also
, there are issues of
some transportation Change preposition
with
system
in some Fix the agreement mistake
systems
areas
where people
still walk and use own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
vehicle
for commuting. Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
Therefore
, authorities should provide some transportation system to that area as well.
To conclude
, people
are suffering from many difficulties because they do not have access to get
these Verb problem
apply
services
and the government
should help to provide these to public
by building roads and education institutes not on arts, painting and music.Add an article
the public
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Logical Structure
Focus on developing your argument with a more structured approach. An introduction, followed by body paragraphs each addressing a single aspect with clear topic sentences, then a conclusion summarizing your stance helps in clarity and coherence.
Cohesive Devices
To enhance the readability of your essay, make more use of cohesive devices such as conjunctions, synonyms, and transition words between sentences and paragraphs. This smooths the flow of your argument.
Specific Examples
Your essay reflects a good attempt at covering the topic, but you could improve by including a wider range of specific examples and evidence to support your points further.
Sentence Variety
Pay attention to avoiding repetition and ensure variety in sentence structures. This not only aids in clarity but also makes your argument more compelling.
Task Response
You presented a clear stance on the topic and maintained relevance throughout the essay.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, reinforcing the argument made.
Use of Examples
You successfully utilized examples, though more specificity could strengthen your argument.
