In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? why do you think some people might no be happy to give up using cash?
In the future,
people
may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash
. All payments
may have to be made by card
or using
Verb problem
apply
phones
.
Do you think Fix the agreement mistake
phone
this
will happen one day?
why do you think some people
might no
be happy to give up using Correct your spelling
not
cash
?
We are now living in the era of technologies
, Fix the agreement mistake
technology
as
a result of Correct word choice
and as
this
in the future, citizens may no longer be able to pay their bills in the
stores using Correct article usage
apply
cash
, instead
all the payments
will become digitalized. I believe that this
is going to happen within a few decades. This
essay will discuss how payments
are going to be digitalized as well as
why some people
will be unhappy to give up using cash
.
As young people
are gravitated
towards Change to the active voice
gravitate
have gravitated
technologies
, they Fix the agreement mistake
technology
are
easily Verb problem
apply
adapting
themselves towards it. Wrong verb form
adapt
As a result
of this
, making any payments
with cards or mobile instead
of cash
will be highly welcomed among these generation
. Let us consider in case of Change the determiner
this generation
these generations
people
who are working in a Multinational Company almost sixty to eighty percentage
of the Replace the word
per cent
people
's salary are
debited Correct subject-verb agreement
is
in
their bank accounts. In Change preposition
from
this
situation
the majority of the Add a comma
situation,
people
will not prefer to withdraw their cash
from the cash
machine, then
make their Correct word choice
and then
payments
. They will automatically adapt themselves to the most
easiest way, which is making Change the adjective
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
payments
with the
either Remove the article
apply
card
or using mobile phone.
Correct article usage
a card
On the other hand
, some people
who don't want to change their routine will be unhappy on
giving up the Change preposition
about
cash
payments
. The recent research on payment methods says that,
the majority of the world population are using either digitalized or Remove the comma
apply
card
payments
instead
of cash
payments
. Along with
this
it also
states that,
most of the Remove the comma
apply
people
who are aged more than fifty are using cash
payments
. They are afraid to trust the payments
which are made other than cash
. The best example for
Change preposition
of
this
scenario will be
my grandfather, Wrong verb form
is
Although
his pension amount is debited in
his bank account, he used to withdraw his Change preposition
from
cash
and make his payments
. After discussing with him I came to know that he don't
have trust in the Change the verb form
doesn't
technologies
.
In conclusion, the majority of the payments
will happen through either card
or using
mobile because of the sophisticated Verb problem
apply
technologies
.Submitted by r.harip3 on
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Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task, outlining your view and discussing both the potential future of digital payments and the reasons for resistance. To enhance your response, try to develop your arguments further by providing more detailed examples and exploring the impacts of these transitions in depth.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in the logical flow of your essay. To improve coherence, focus on smoother transitions between ideas and sentences for a more seamless read.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better signal the relationship between ideas and to make your argumentation more persuasive.
Task Achievement
You have effectively used specific examples, such as the preference of young people for technology and the personal anecdote about your grandfather, to support your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which successfully outlines and concludes your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.