IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

#cities #planners #shops #schools #offices #homes #areas #policy
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Numerous cities
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been planned to reduce traffic
congestions
Fix the agreement mistake
congestion
show examples
 and
accident
 rates.
As a result
,
planner
Fix the agreement mistake
planners
show examples
 build infrastructure and
seprates
Correct your spelling
separates
separate
 each shop, workplace, school and home. I tend to deem that it has more pros than cons. I will elaborate on my notion in forthcoming paragraphs. Nowadays, urban cities are planned which affects their infrastructure and looks more attractive by building it in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different locations and
enhace
Correct your spelling
enhance
 beauty of the city.
As
Correct word choice
Consequently
show examples
consequently
, it is straightforward for the
cutumer
Correct your spelling
consumer
 to buy the
productes
Correct your spelling
products
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one
 corner of the city when they go
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shopings
Correct your spelling
shopping
shoppings
, which directly saves
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
’s
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
. If the
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
 like
office
Fix the agreement mistake
offices
show examples
 and schools are in
one
place
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 it not only reduces the fossil fuel
exhurtion
Correct your spelling
exhaustion
excursion
 but
also
 succour for the
people
 who have to put their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 to school
then
 go to the office
place
 in their congested time. It
also
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
 the traffic and
accident
 rate near homes.
For instance
, at the time of starting and entering the
work
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
place
 by worker and students the chances of traffic are higher which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 the
accident
 as
this
 new
devlopmet
Correct your spelling
development
 the
accident
 rate
is decrease
Change the verb form
is decreased
is decreasing
show examples
. It
also
 has some negative impacts, it is
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
 for
people
by having
Change preposition
to have
show examples
 shops in
one
place
. An outstanding example is that if the grocery
shopes
Correct your spelling
shoppes
shops
 are far away from home
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
it
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
a times
Correct the article-noun agreement
a time
times
show examples
 to reach their destination shop and
people
purches
Correct your spelling
purchase
purchases
 food for
one
 week and which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 the
detrimetal
Correct your spelling
detrimental
 effect on their health.
However
, there will be relief from the
hustual
Correct your spelling
hustle
usual
 of the person if their homes are far away. In recapitulation,
Although
people
 might feel some difficulties, it
succors
Change the spelling
succours
show examples
people
 with many of their
task
Change to a plural noun
tasks
show examples
 by making shopping closer to each other
also
 schools and
work
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
place
 both are in
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 areas.
Submitted by milonishekhaliya on

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Spelling/Grammar
Be mindful of spelling and grammar to enhance clarity. For example, 'Numerous cities has been planned' should be 'Numerous cities have been planned', and 'cutumer' should be 'customer'.
Grammar
Ensure subject-verb agreement and use of articles are correct. For example, 'planner build' should be 'planners build', and 'it succors people with many of their task' should be 'it succors people with many of their tasks'.
Structure
Consider a clear introductory sentence for paragraphs and a more distinct conclusion to strengthen the structure.
Vocabulary/Complexity
Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance your essay. Avoid repetition and aim for more complex expressions.
Supporting Examples
Try to incorporate a more detailed example or statistics to strengthen your arguments.
Content
Good job addressing both advantages and disadvantages in a balanced manner, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.
Use of Examples
Effective use of an example to support your point, enhancing the argument's strength.
Structure
Your essay's structure is coherent, with logical progression from one paragraph to the next.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Segregation
  • Urban areas
  • Residential
  • Commercial
  • Industrial
  • Systematic development
  • Amenity provision
  • Urban management
  • Pollution
  • Quality of life
  • Transportation costs
  • Environmental impact
  • Social segregation
  • Amenities
  • Services
  • Income neighborhoods
  • Vibrant
  • Accessible
  • Travel times
  • Social interaction
  • Mixed-use developments
  • Sustainable urban planning
  • Walking
  • Cycling
  • Public transport
  • Urban sprawl
  • Green spaces
  • Agricultural land
  • Biodiversity
  • Business hubs
  • Investments
  • Employment opportunities
  • Economic growth
What to do next:
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