IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Write an email to the local government in about 150-200 words. Your email should do the following things: Provide information about where you live. Explain the problem and how it affects your life. Suggest a way to solve the problem.

#email #government #information #life
Dear BC Housing Government, I am writing
this
 email concerning a current problem in my community, located in Marpole, South Vancouver. I have been living here for more than two years, and
this
 is a quiet and peaceful neighbourhood. In
this
 zone, there are several green areas where I can walk, and spend time with my kids and pets becoming
a the
Choose an article
a
the
show examples
 perfect place to live. Unfortunately, a construction company would start a building project, and
this
 could strongly interfere with the peace mentioned above since they would destroy the green areas and disturb us with heavy noise.
Furthermore
, the project would really affect my daily routine including walking outside with my dogs, enjoying nature, and resting when I get home. Considering the aforementioned, I respectfully suggest you reconsider the development of
this
 project
such
 as maintaining the most green areas possible and setting up daily hours for working and avoiding heavy noise. Thanks in advance for bearing in mind my suggestions. I will be looking forward to hearing from you. Regards, Joyce
Submitted by natalyrau13 on

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Structure
Ensure your email is structured in a logical order. Your email clearly introduces the topic and states the problem well but could benefit from a clearer transition between introducing your community and describing the specific problem.
Detail
Make use of specific examples to illustrate your point more vividly. For instance, describe the particular green areas and their importance to your community to strengthen your argument.
Solution
Consider providing more detailed suggestions for solving the problem. While you propose maintaining green areas and setting work hours, elaborating on how these measures could be implemented or suggesting additional solutions might make your argument more persuasive.
Introduction
Your email effectively introduces the topic and provides a clear statement of the problem, making it easy for the reader to understand your concerns.
Tone
The polite tone and respectful language throughout the email are excellent for communication with government officials, likely making your concerns more well-received.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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