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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the production levels of the main kinds of fuel in the UK between 1981 and 2000.

The graph below shows the production levels of the main kinds of fuel in the UK between 1981 and 2000.
#production #levels #kinds #fuel #uk
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The given figure depicts the manufacturing
levels
Use synonyms
 of the primary types of fuel in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 from the years 1981 to 2000 .
Overall
Linking Words
 , it has been observed that petroleum is manufactured more from the
inital
Correct your spelling
initial
 year onwards when
as
Correct word choice
apply
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at the start of the year coal is produced more than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural
gas
Use synonyms
 but years later natural
gas
Use synonyms
 has surpassed the manufacturing
levels
Use synonyms
 of coal .
Initially
Linking Words
 ,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 produced 90 million tonnes of petroleum in the year 1981 and the
levels
Use synonyms
has raised
Wrong verb form
rose
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 continuously till 1984 and became stable till 1987 and saw
decline
Add an article
a decline
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 in
further
Linking Words
 years but from 1991 it
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 a slight increase and rose dramatically and never
seen
Wrong verb form
saw
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 a decline .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , coal was manufactured
80
Change preposition
at 80
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 million tonnes in 1981 and natural
gas
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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produced
only
Change preposition
at only
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 around 40 million tonnes but production
levels
Use synonyms
 of coal
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 declined rapidly in
such
Linking Words
 a way that the
levels
Use synonyms
 of coal and natural
gas
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 equal
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1984 . From
then
Linking Words
 onwards natural
gas
Use synonyms
 is produced more than coal
Submitted by hv10064 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words levels, gas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • overall decline
  • depletion
  • shift in energy policies
  • global oil prices
  • extraction technology
  • cleaner energy sources
  • technological advancements
  • investment in nuclear energy
  • diversification
  • traditional fossil fuels
  • sustainable options
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