The bar graph shows the number of man and woman participants in the olympics between 1924 to 2012

#bar #man #woman #participants #olympics

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The given information represents the count of part-time moving

employer

Fix the agreement mistake

employers

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in four nations in 2003 and 2006.

Also

Linking Words

, the count of employers ratio per 1000 human in these nations in 2006.

Overall

Linking Words

, the data is divided into three categories, the number of resources in 2003 and 2006.

Additionally

Linking Words

People

Correct article usage

the People

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ratio per 1000 in 2006 for part-time jobs.

FIrst

Correct your spelling

First

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of all, the highest

employees

Correct quantifier usage

number of employees

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in the United States in both years 2006 and 2003 but the

resourse

Correct your spelling

resource

per 1000 is

lowest

Correct article usage

the lowest

show examples

all

Change preposition

in all

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among

Change preposition

apply

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the countries

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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2.3 in 2006.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the lowest

Correct quantifier usage

number of

show examples

workers in New Zealand which

Change the verb form

are

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65,000 in 2003 and 87,000 figures in 2006 but the

people

Correct quantifier usage

number of people

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in New Zealand per 1000

candidate

Fix the agreement mistake

candidates

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Wrong verb form

was

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21.1 in 2006.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the table shows the

workers

Correct quantifier usage

number of workers

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are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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increased in 2006 more than

2003

Change preposition

in 2003

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However

Linking Words

, the people count per 1000 in 2006

Unnecessary verb

apply

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dramatically

decreases

Wrong verb form

decreased

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in the United States. Because

Remove the comma

apply

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the recourse of temporary

worker

Fix the agreement mistake

workers

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is high in

this

Linking Words

nation.

Submitted by insighttribez on Fri May 10 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.

▼

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

157 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

gender ratio
inclusion
significant gap
gradual increase
key Olympics
notable increase
policy changes
closing gender gap
socio-political factors
feminist movements
gender equality
parity

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The bar graph shows the number of man and woman participants in the olympics between 1924 to 2012

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important for children's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree with this option?

Computers and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience ? Is this a positive or negative development ?

Some people think our first impression of someone is important, while others think we should not judge another person so quickly and should take our time to know them better. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The current trend in education is to move away from traditional exams and instead have continuous assessment over the school year? what did you think of this trend ?