The bar graph shows the number of man and woman participants in the olympics between 1924 to 2012

#bar #man #woman #participants #olympics

The given information represents the count of part-time moving

employer

Fix the agreement mistake

employers

show examples

in four nations in 2003 and 2006.

Also

, the count of employers ratio per 1000 human in these nations in 2006.

Overall

, the data is divided into three categories, the number of resources in 2003 and 2006.

Additionally

People

Correct article usage

the People

show examples

ratio per 1000 in 2006 for part-time jobs.

FIrst

Correct your spelling

First

show examples

of all, the highest

employees

Correct quantifier usage

number of employees

show examples

in the United States in both years 2006 and 2003 but the

resourse

Correct your spelling

resource

per 1000 is

lowest

Correct article usage

the lowest

show examples

all

Change preposition

in all

show examples

among

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the countries

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

2.3 in 2006.

Moreover

, the lowest

Correct quantifier usage

number of

show examples

workers in New Zealand which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

65,000 in 2003 and 87,000 figures in 2006 but the

people

Correct quantifier usage

number of people

show examples

in New Zealand per 1000

candidate

Fix the agreement mistake

candidates

show examples

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

21.1 in 2006.

Secondly

, the table shows the

workers

Correct quantifier usage

number of workers

show examples

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

increased in 2006 more than

2003

Change preposition

in 2003

show examples

However

, the people count per 1000 in 2006

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

dramatically

decreases

Wrong verb form

decreased

show examples

in the United States. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the recourse of temporary

worker

Fix the agreement mistake

workers

show examples

is high in

this

nation.

Submitted by insighttribez on Fri May 10 2024

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

157 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

gender ratio
inclusion
significant gap
gradual increase
key Olympics
notable increase
policy changes
closing gender gap
socio-political factors
feminist movements
gender equality
parity

What to do next:

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The bar graph shows the number of man and woman participants in the olympics between 1924 to 2012

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In recent years, people watch more movies from overseas. What are the reasons for this? Should the government give financial support to local cinema to produce local films?

Many small businesses are being forced to close because they cannot compete with multinational corporations. what problem does this cause, and how can those problems be solved?

In many countries, some people earn very high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country. Others believe that the government should not allow people to earn salaries above a certain level. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those time than they are now.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?