IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduces the ammount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#forms #communication #email #ammount #time #people #friends #effect #lives
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In the era of technology, social
messengers
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 are now used to connect millions of
people
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 ranging from our
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
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 to
citizen
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citizens
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 from the other side of the world. Some
people
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 argue that these new forms of
communication
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 bring
people
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 closer,
while
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 others think they pull
people
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 apart as
people
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 nowadays rarely meet each other in person. In my opinion, I disagree that social platforms cause a lack of
people
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's social lives.
Firstly
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social
messengers
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 only serve as
one
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 of the options for communicating. In the
past
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past,
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 it was very difficult for
people
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 to talk to each other, especially if there is something urgent came up, because they needed to arrange a meeting
everytime
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every time
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 they
want
Wrong verb form
wanted
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 to meet up.
However
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, nowadays,
people
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 can choose
on
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apply
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whether the discussion is worth a face-to-face meeting or just a video conference through online
platform
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platforms
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such
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 as Zoom or Google Meet
suffices
Verb problem
apply
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.
Thus
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, I believe modern
messengers
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 will not replace face-to-face meetings but only serve as
one
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 of
options
Add an article
the options
show examples
of
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for
show examples
communication
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.
In addition
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, social
messengers
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 are
also
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 helpful in maintaining boundaries between friends as when someone receives an online message he/she can take as much time as they want to reply to
such
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 a message. In
contary
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contrast
, offline meetings often drain someone's energy and a lot of
people
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 feel exhausted after completing even only
one
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 meeting.
Thus
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, I believe modern
messengers
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 will not jeopardize
one
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's social lives. In conclusion, I disagree that emails, texts and other modern
communication
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 platforms bring harm to
one
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's direct interaction with other
people
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 because they provide additional
option
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options
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
communication
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as well as
Linking Words
 give boundaries for
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sormindevina on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the task question. Your position is clear, but ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your viewpoint with specific examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your ideas logically, ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly to the next with appropriate connectors. Your essay demonstrates good use of this, enhancing its readability.
Language Development
To further improve, consider varying your sentence structures more and using a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas even more precisely.
Task Response
Your essay presents a clear opinion, providing a balanced view on the issue.
Coherence & Cohesion
Good use of paragraphs and cohesive devices helps the reader to understand the flow of your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instant messaging
  • Virtual friendships
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Social isolation
  • Emotional connection
  • Superficial relationships
  • Mental health issues
  • Social norms
  • Digital communication
  • In-person meetings
  • Quality of social interactions
  • Unparalleled convenience
  • Human beings are social animals
  • Prioritize convenience
  • Meaningful social experiences
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