Students should pay full cost for their our study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today’s society, the issue of whether
students
Use synonyms
should spend
full
Correct pronoun usage
their full
show examples
expenditure on studying or not has sparked a degree of controversy among people.
This
Linking Words
essay will justify
this
Linking Words
. On the one hand, there are some major benefits from learning
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
Add an article
a university
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that I have a positive view
on
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of
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, studying brings
students
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more knowledge in different sectors around the world. Because of the curriculum coming from university,
students
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tend to learn many extra subjects which
are not belonged
Change to the active voice
do not belong
have not belonged
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to their major, which results in the understanding of many academic subjects
as well as
Linking Words
different
Add an article
a different
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phenomenon
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomena
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
because
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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degree
of
Change preposition
from
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college is actually valuable. Thanks to the diploma of university,
students
Use synonyms
are likely to gain more opportunities to get
a decent jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
a decent job
decent jobs
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with
handsome
Add an article
a handsome
the handsome
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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that they are able to affirm themselves to deserve
this
Linking Words
career with the income, which makes learner pursue their dreams directly.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I quite agree with the concept of individuals
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Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Introduce each paragraph with a topic sentence, followed by explanations and examples. Link your ideas smoothly to guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
For a higher score in task achievement, it is crucial to fully address the essay prompt. Develop a more balanced argument by discussing both views thoroughly, and provide a clear opinion. Including a conclusion to summarise your stance and main points is essential.
Vocabulary
You have demonstrated a good range of vocabulary and the ability to explain complex ideas.
Introduction
The introduction successfully outlines the essay topic and indicates your position.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
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