IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Students should pay pull cost for their own study, because universityeducation benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #cost #study #universityeducation #individuals #society
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The majority of
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
students
Use synonyms
 should pay
full
Correct article usage
the full
show examples
 cost for their own
Use synonyms
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 because the advantages of
university
Use synonyms
 education bing to individuals rather than society.
This
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 writer agreed with
this
Linking Words
agrued
Correct your spelling
argument
, through
this
Linking Words
 essay I will figure out the reasons why I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. It can be easy to understand that
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
full
Correct article usage
the full
show examples
 cost
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 education
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
Use synonyms
 will help
people
Use synonyms
 expand their
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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 and experiences,
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
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 improve more in
communicate
Replace the word
communication
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, so why
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this
Add a missing verb
is this
show examples
 happening
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 First of all, when
people
Use synonyms
study
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
university
Add an article
a university
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they will
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study in
Verb problem
gain
show examples
 high professional knowledge so it will help
students
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 have wider
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
. Moving on to the next reason,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
students
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 in
university
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 have more free
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 than other
people
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 who do not
study
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more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
so in that free
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
Use synonyms
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 likely find a
job
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 as a part-time
job
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 just about 4 to 5 hours a day and
this
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 can help
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 tackle the problems in financial
also
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 provide them
some
Add the preposition
with some
show examples
 experiences in work for the future.
Then
Linking Words
, in
university
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 always have
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of clubs for
students
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chose
Change the verb form
to choose
show examples
 to join
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
and for
students
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 to
communicating
Wrong verb form
communicate
show examples
 with friends around them, all the clubs will make a party as a welcome to their club that will help shy
students
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 to communicate with
another friends
Replace the adjective
another friend
other friends
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 join in the party.
Moreover
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, after
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduating
show examples
 the school that
Use synonyms
peole
Correct your spelling
people
study
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 in will give all the
students
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
a
university
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 degree that
essential
Add a missing verb
is essential
show examples
 for
students
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 to apply
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. With
Use synonyms
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 who have
university
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degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 will have more
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
,
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also
Correct word choice
and also
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 have more chances to apply
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 than other
Use synonyms
peole
Correct your spelling
people
.
Finally
Linking Words
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 more chances in
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
 will help
people
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 gain a good
job
Use synonyms
 with high salaries that
necessary
Add a missing verb
are necessary
show examples
 for their future
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
show examples
. In conclusion, I agree with the statement and
people
Use synonyms
 should pay the full cost for their education because it will help them a lot
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in the future. It will help them
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 knowledge,
communication
Correct word choice
and communication
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
 help them to find a good
job
Use synonyms
 with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 salary
too
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear standpoint and develops arguments around it; however, enhancing the depth of the examples and arguments could strengthen your position further.
Coherence & Cohesion
Focusing on the structure of your sentences, organizing them into clearer, more concise thoughts, and avoiding repetition could significantly improve readability and coherence.
Language Accuracy
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing throughout your essay. Continuous practice and review of grammar rules could help improve fluency and accuracy.
Lexical Resource
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary specific to the topic at hand to better articulate your arguments and enrich your essay.
Position Consistency
You effectively express your personal opinion and remain consistent with your agreement throughout the essay.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are present and attempt to bookend your argument, which is good practice for structuring essays.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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