Students should pay a full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Some people
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
should pay
everything
Change preposition
for everything
show examples
for their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since only
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can take
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
of learning
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
, not
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. The author
agreed
Wrong verb form
agrees
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
ideal
Correct your spelling
idea
show examples
and will give reasons why. First of all,
student
go to
university
for their own self. They want to reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
higher education, to
acquired
Change the form of the verb
acquire
show examples
new knowledge.
Society
only
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
benefits if
student
choose to stay and work for their government. And if they choose to live abroad,
this
can be a big disadvantage for
society
. Take Ho Chi Minh City as an example, 90% of students who go to universities have to
paid
Change the verb
pay
show examples
full
Correct article usage
the full
show examples
cost for their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
, including the cost that they need to make passports and tickets to go.
Moreover
,
this
can be a benefit for
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
to learn how to plan for their future. They will have to learn how to manage
financial
Replace the word
finances
show examples
for their own life.
For instance
, many students have to learn how to balance their life and their study
while
they are learning
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
.
Conclusion
Change preposition
In conclusion
show examples
,
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education can be a good deal to make the
student
become more independent, and
also
a good way to keep the
student
stay to learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.
Moreover
,
this
can be a trend to help
student
autonomy.
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Introduction
Introduce your essay with a clearer thesis statement that directly responds to the question. This helps in providing a definite stance and guidance for your argument.
Sentence Structure
Use more varied and complex sentence structures to enhance the flow and readability of your essay. This can also help in demonstrating a higher level of English proficiency.
Examples
Support your main points with more specific examples and evidence. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Argument Balance
Consider exploring the social benefits of university education to provide a more balanced argument, even if your stance does not fully support this view. Addressing counterarguments can enrich your essay.
Conclusion
Work on the conclusion to more clearly summarise your views and the reasons behind them, reinforcing the argument made throughout the essay.
Structure
You made a clear effort to structure your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Engagement with Topic
Your essay reflects a good attempt to discuss the topic from the perspective of individual benefits versus societal contributions, showing engagement with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
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