IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the change, which took place in a coastal area called Pentland from 1950 to 2007.

The diagram below shows the change, which took place in a coastal area called Pentland from 1950 to 2007.
#change #place #area #pentland
The maps illustrate how a coastal
area
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
whose
show examples
 name is Pentland,
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
developed between 1950 to 2007.
Overall
, the
area
 has experienced some major changes in infrastructure throughout the period. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be seen in 1950, there was a main path which connected the South to the North of the
area
. On the left hand of the main
road
, there was an industrial
area
 which was on the Northwest of the city.
Moreover
, to the South of the industrial
area
, there was a grassland and
also
 across the
road
, there was one more grassland.
In addition
, to the North of the
area
, there was a sea which split the main
road
 in two.
Finally
, there was a car park on the East of the map. Turning to the map
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in 2007, the main
road
has been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
expended
Correct your spelling
expanded
show examples
the
Change preposition
from the
show examples
 Southwest to
Southeast
Correct article usage
the Southeast
show examples
.
Also
,
grassland
Correct article usage
the grassland
show examples
 has been replaced by the shops,the houses and the cinema.
Additinonally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, a swimming pool and a park, which are connected
each
Change preposition
to each
show examples
 other, have been established
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the Northwest of the
area
. To the Northeast of the map, the apartments
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been built.
Lastly
, the sea has been
expended
Correct your spelling
expanded
show examples
 with a marina.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words area, road with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 4 times.
▼

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