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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays more and more children acquire unhealthy eating habits. Why is this happening? What would be the solution?

There is a common concern these days that the eating habits of
teenagers
Use synonyms
 are unhealthy. The reason behind
this
Linking Words
 is the overindulging in
food
Use synonyms
, yet it can be addressed by creating a balanced diet. The focal reason for children’s unhealthy diets is
due to
Linking Words
 passion for
food
Use synonyms
. It must be recognized that there is a variety of
food
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 these days with charming appearances
as well as
Linking Words
 palatable taste, those really fit in with the
food
Use synonyms
 demand of
teenagers
Use synonyms
.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, people, including adolescents, have a tendency to consume these aliments, without concerning whether it is nourishing or not, leading to nutritional deficiency. Take the US as a prime example where
teenagers
Use synonyms
 choose fast
food
Use synonyms
 as their meal
due to
Linking Words
 their interest and bulimia
However
Linking Words
, a remedy can be seen in individuals themselves to organize a healthy diet. To be more specific, consider in advance what
food
Use synonyms
 they should eat with adequate nutrition which the body needs
as well as
Linking Words
 operate more physical activities.
This
Linking Words
 will not only improve their
overall
Linking Words
 health but
also
Linking Words
 change their dietary habits since nutritious
food
Use synonyms
 boosts body metabolism to provide healthful substances for
teenagers
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, a bad eating lifestyle stems from juvenile’ gastronomy. To tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem, a balanced diet should be created to help the
overall
Linking Words
 development of the young

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detail
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expansion
Your ideas are relevant, but try to expand on your examples to cover the topic more comprehensively.
cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay. This includes transition words and phrases to link ideas smoothly.
structure
You have a clear structure in your essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in understanding.
task response
Your essay addresses the task directly, offering both reasons for the issue and possible solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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