IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#uk #time #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The table provides information about several ways that
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
 spent their
time
Use synonyms
last
Linking Words
 year.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that housework, shopping and job hunting were the most popular activities
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 both men and women.
By contrast
Linking Words
, they spend less
time
Use synonyms
 drinking and doing nothing. In regard to men who activated in the morning, they spent 22% of their
time
Use synonyms
 seeking
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a job.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 housework and shopping were 19% and 20% for each,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
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 the other categories' data were 14% and lower.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, morning women spent nearly half of the day doing house chores and about
about
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
6 hours a day going shopping.
However
Linking Words
, the other groups ranged from 1% to 16%. In terms of afternoon men, watching TV accounts for 14% of their
time
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the data
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 staying in bed is
merel
Correct your spelling
merely
 1%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, others varied from 3% to 13%. It can be seen that
one fifth
Add a hyphen
one-fifth
show examples
 of afternoon women's
time
Use synonyms
 was spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 housework and they did not stay in bed and played
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 at all. On the one hand, other activities changed from 2% to 17%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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