Students should pay full cost for their own study because university education benefits individuals rather than society.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is
beleived
that Correct your spelling
believed
learners
should spent
their own money Change the verb form
spend
for
their personal Change preposition
on
education
due to
the benefits that the university provides focus
on them only Wrong verb form
focusing
instead
of society.This
author completely disagree
with Change the verb form
disagrees
this
statement as not every students
can afford Change to a singular noun
student
for
themselves and by investing money Correct pronoun usage
it for
on
them,they would Change preposition
in
more
likely to succeed.
It is worth noticing that each and every Add a missing verb
be more
students
Fix the agreement mistake
student
require
investment in order to attain Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
better
Add an article
a better
education
.Specifically, not every learners
Change to a singular noun
learner
are
wealthy and some face insufficient learning Correct subject-verb agreement
is
environment
.Fix the agreement mistake
environments
Therefore
, universities should assist their students
in some aspects for
instance,lower learning Add the comma(s)
, for
fee
for potential Fix the agreement mistake
fees
students
and allow scholarship
.Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
This
would significantly increase the quality of students
learning hence
would eventually enhance the reputation of the university and the society they live in.
Another point worth considering is that there Correct word choice
and hence
are
a Correct subject-verb agreement
is
porportion
of individuals who take advantage of these benefits for themselves without serving any Correct your spelling
proportion
education
purposes.Thus
, universities would waste cost on learners
who didn't improve themself in education
and
Correct word choice
apply
lead
to failure which will affect theWrong verb form
leading
universitiy
.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
university
while
not all learners
have the will to learn therefore
it would be wasting money to assist them,others with potential self-growth should have the benefit of investment in their education
to eventually be successful and improve society.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Language Proficiency
Consider revising minor grammatical errors and using a wider range of vocabulary to strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points more thoroughly with detailed examples and explanations to provide a stronger analysis of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance the organization of your essay by introducing clearer transitions between paragraphs, which will improve the flow and coherence of your argument.
Task Achievement
You presented a clear stance in the introduction and maintained it throughout the essay, which is essential for a strong task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay makes relevant points about the importance of supporting students in education, linking to societal benefits effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.