Students should pay full cost for their own study because university education benefits individuals rather than society.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is
beleived
Correct your spelling
believed
that
learners
should
spent
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spend
show examples
their own money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
their personal
education
due to
the benefits that the university provides
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
on them only
instead
of society.
This
author completely
disagree
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disagrees
show examples
with
this
statement as not every
students
Change to a singular noun
student
show examples
can afford
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
themselves and by investing money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
them,they would
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
likely to succeed. It is worth noticing that each and every
students
Fix the agreement mistake
student
show examples
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
investment in order to attain
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
education
.Specifically, not every
learners
Change to a singular noun
learner
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
wealthy and some face insufficient learning
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
.
Therefore
, universities should assist their
students
in some aspects
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
instance,lower learning
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
for potential
students
and allow
scholarship
Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
show examples
.
This
would significantly increase the quality of
students
learning
hence
Correct word choice
and hence
show examples
would eventually enhance the reputation of the university and the society they live in. Another point worth considering is that there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
a
porportion
Correct your spelling
proportion
of individuals who take advantage of these benefits for themselves without serving any
education
purposes.
Thus
, universities would waste cost on
learners
who didn't improve themself in
education
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
to failure which will affect the
universitiy
Correct your spelling
university
. In conclusion,
while
not all
learners
have the will to learn
therefore
it would be wasting money to assist them,others with potential self-growth should have the benefit of investment in their
education
to eventually be successful and improve society.

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Language Proficiency
Consider revising minor grammatical errors and using a wider range of vocabulary to strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points more thoroughly with detailed examples and explanations to provide a stronger analysis of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance the organization of your essay by introducing clearer transitions between paragraphs, which will improve the flow and coherence of your argument.
Task Achievement
You presented a clear stance in the introduction and maintained it throughout the essay, which is essential for a strong task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay makes relevant points about the importance of supporting students in education, linking to societal benefits effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
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