The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You should write at least 150 words.
The bar chart illustrates the statistics regarding
Australians
Correct your spelling
Australian
show examples
employee
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
in the previous year, categorized
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
occupation type and gender.
Overall
, it can be seen that males percentage outnumbered females in all categories,
excepting
Wrong verb form
except
show examples
for professionals and clerical.
To begin
with, the majority of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
worked in
Correct article usage
the trades
show examples
trades
Change the noun form
trade
show examples
field
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about 900
people
, nine times over
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
in
this
sector. Clerical ranked in second place with roughly 850
people
.
while
other types showed
average
Change the article
an average
the average
show examples
number
of 550
people
, labourers experienced the lowest figure for male
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
, representing only 400
people
. Regarding women
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
, it witnessed the highest
number
in the clerical, just under 1,000
people
. Followed closely by professionals at exactly 700
people
. The remaining displayed less
number
compared to men.
While
semi-professionals, Labourers, and managers saw figures between 200 and 400, tradespeople and production were the two least
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
Australian women work in. It shared
similar
Change the article
a similar
the similar
show examples
number
of 100
people
.
Submitted by nnatthinee on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Employment figures
  • Sectors
  • Significant disparities
  • Gender balance
  • Skewed
  • Trends
  • Patterns
  • Dominant
  • Inferred
  • Labor market
  • Year-on-year comparison
  • Insights
  • Implications
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