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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, people prefer to rent a house than buy one. What are the advantages and disadvantages of renting a property?

#countries #people #rent #house #property
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In the modern era, anything can be rented
such
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 as houses, cars and bikes.
Similarly
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,
this
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 is becoming common in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most countries to rent a
place
Use synonyms
for living
Change preposition
to live
show examples
 rather than
purchasing
Wrong verb form
purchase
show examples
 a property.
However
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, there are certain pros and cons of
this
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 situation that I will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with the benefits, renting a house is less expensive than buying one.
For instance
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,
although
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 individuals have to pay extra for utilities
such
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 as electricity, gas and water bills, it is still cheaper than buying their own homes. In the example, a study has published that , in the USA, the number of people living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rented apartments
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more compared to those who prefer to own their houses because of cheap rents.
Consequently
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, people do not need to save an immense amount of money to purchase their own lands.
However
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, despite having some advantages, there are certain drawbacks. First of all, shifting from one
place
Use synonyms
 to another is difficult.
For example
Linking Words
, when tenants choose a
place
Use synonyms
 to stay
then
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 they have to sign a lease
that is
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 usually for a year or sometimes less than that.
Therefore
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, after a year, they have to move from
that
Correct determiner usage
one
show examples
 apartment to another which becomes a problem. In fact, sometimes,
while
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 moving, since they lose certain things, they have to invest again to buy
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
lost items.
As a result
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, renting can be a hassle for some as it is for only fixed timing. In conclusion, though there are certain positive aspects of renting a
place
Use synonyms
, it is worth less when you have to pay again for
your
Change the word
the
show examples
 things that you have lost
while
Linking Words
 shifting.
Submitted by simranjot0002 on

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task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for discussing the advantages and disadvantages of renting, which shows good task achievement. Enhancing the depth and variety in your examples could further strengthen your response.
task achievement
Try to expand on your ideas with more detailed examples and explanation to fully address the task.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good logical structure and coherent flow between paragraphs. Keep this up in your writing.
coherence cohesion
Introduce more linking words and phrases to improve the smoothness of transitions between your ideas.
coherence cohesion
In discussing advantages and disadvantages, ensure that both sides are equally elaborated upon to maintain a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
You effectively introduced the topic and provided a clear thesis statement in your introduction.
coherence cohesion
You maintained a logical progression of ideas making your essay easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points of your essay, reinforcing your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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