In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved ?

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There is a controversial perspective heating a debate over the fact that in many nations, the population of flora and fauna is deteriorating.
This
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essay is devoted to underlying culprits, followed by some effective solutions to
this
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dire
problem
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. Without a shadow of a doubt, there are numerous reasons that lead to the number of
animals
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declining,
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however
Add a comma
however,
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the one
that is
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the most popular is commercial purposes. And the explanation for
this
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could be the insatiable greed of people to gain profit.
For example
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, poachers hunt illegal
animals
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for the fashion industry in developed countries like tiger’s skin.
Moreover
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, rhinoceros are hunted to take horns for the medical industry. To combat
this
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urgent
problem
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, the government should raise public awareness of ordinary people by launching anti-campaigns of products made from
animals
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. And people should boycott these animal-skinned products. With the absence of the demand of customers,
this
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problem
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will stop. Another reason for the decrease of the number of plants is
due to
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overpopulation.
Due to
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the population boom, a wide range of agricultural areas and farming purposes
are
Wrong verb form
were
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demolished to make
the
Correct article usage
apply
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way for residential areas. To be more specific, in Sapa, which is a mountainous area in Vietnam, an eclectic mix of forests
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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wiped out in order to build houses and other businesses like hotels and restaurants. To deal with
this
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problem
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, the governments should conduct reforestation on a large scale.
Furthermore
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, rare species and plants need to
preserve
Wrong verb form
be preserved
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to increase reproductive rates and avoid extinction. In conclusion, commercial purposes and overpopulation are reasons why the number of
animals
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and plants is declining.
Moreover
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, the government should implement some solutions like reforestation or launching campaigns to cope with
this
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problem
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task by identifying causes of the decline in flora and fauna and suggesting solutions. It would benefit from further development of ideas and a more nuanced discussion of the solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Try to avoid repetition and enhance idea clarity by using varied sentence structures. Additionally, clearly articulate the relationship between causes and solutions for better coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly stated, providing a good framework for your essay.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples that support your main points.
task achievement
Your essay remains focused on addressing the essay question throughout.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • urbanization
  • deforestation
  • agricultural expansion
  • pollution control
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable practices
  • overexploitation
  • invasive species
  • conservation
  • quarantine measures
  • eradication programs
  • public awareness campaigns
  • habitat destruction
  • climate change
  • natural habitats
  • species decline
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