IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people in cities today live in high-rise apartment blocks. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this type of living? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Over the
last
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 few years, the number of
people
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 who prefer yo some
people
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 in towns live in
high rise
Add a hyphen
high-rise
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 apartment
buildings
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 has increased significantly.
Although
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 there are several advantages of that some individuals in towns
life
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.
However
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, it can have some
disadvantages
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 as well. In
this
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 essay, I will try to discuss both
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
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 and negative sides of
this
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 and draw a conclusion. From one perspective, there are several benefits of high-rise apartments.
Furthermore
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, it has become very tidy, comfortable and always tiny. The first merit of it is considered to be that
them
Change the pronoun
they
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 similar
buildings
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has
Change the verb form
have
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 become increasing and developing in my country.
For example
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, Akay City, Nursultan and Dream House. These types of
buildings
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 are very attractive,
luxurious
Correct word choice
and luxurious
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, and
people
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 are crowded.
Likewise
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, they have all the amenities. Another positive aspect is thought to be that
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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in
multi- storey
Correct your spelling
multi-storey
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 houses, especially the pool,
golf
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the golf
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 site is a storage
life
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. From
other perspective
Change the wording
another perspective
other perspectives
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, despite
mentioned
Correct article usage
the mentioned
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positives
Add a comma
positives,
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 there are many shortages of apartment
buildings
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. One of the major
disadvantages
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 of it is that the
buildings
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has
Change the verb form
have
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 technical malfunctions
as well as
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 lifts do not work and other
disadvantages
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.
For instance
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, sewed water, expensive
of
Change preposition
apply
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goods, happening, and paid
life
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. Another important demetritis that that
buildings
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 are very uncomfortable, and in short, the money they
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life
Replace the word
live
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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living money does not live. In conclusion,
while
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 some
people
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 are admitted to live in multi-storey houses can
be offer
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offer
show examples
 several positives, there may be some drawbacks too. From my personal point of view,
advantages
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the advantages
show examples
 of
this
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 will outweigh the
disadvantages
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.

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task achievement
You've made a good attempt to address both sides of the argument, regarding the advantages and disadvantages of living in high-rise buildings. To improve, ensure your essay directly answers the question by clearly stating the advantages and disadvantages in separate paragraphs. This will help in making your essay more cohesive and improving your task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Try to structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and be fully developed.
task achievement
For a higher score, work on providing more specific examples and detailed explanations that directly support your points. This will also help in making your essay more engaging and persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of grammatical accuracy and aim to reduce the number of errors in your writing. This will not only improve readability but also your overall score.
content
You've correctly identified some of the key advantages and disadvantages of living in high-rise apartments.
positive example
Including examples from specific buildings and locations adds a personal touch to your essay, making your arguments more illustrative.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • high-rise apartment blocks
  • densely populated
  • housing shortages
  • shared amenities
  • security personnel
  • surveillance systems
  • social interaction
  • panoramic views
  • isolation
  • noise pollution
  • outdoor spaces
  • evacuation times
  • personalization
  • building regulations
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