IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that printed books are no longer necessary in this digital Era as all writings can be stored electronically. Other think that printed books still play an important role. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #books #era #writings #role
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It is believed by some
people
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 that we are no longer in need
for
Change preposition
of
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hardcopy
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books
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, in
this
Linking Words
 digital
Era
Fix capitalization
era
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 as all writings can be stored and read in an electronic form.
While
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,
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apply
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 other
people
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 believe that printed
books
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 still
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 a crucial role in our
dialy
Correct your spelling
daily
 lives. In my opinion, I think it is better to read an actual
book
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 rather than in a softcopy form. First and foremost, digital
books
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 can be easily accessed
throught
Correct your spelling
through
 any electronic platform
such
Linking Words
 as
,
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apply
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 cell phones, laptops,
Ipads
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ipads
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 and e-
books
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.
This
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ease
Wrong verb form
eased
show examples
 the way
people
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 read and
also
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 played a significant role in encouraging young adults to read more.
However
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,
beside
Replace the word
besides
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 the high cost to
puchase
Correct your spelling
purchase
 an electronic device. Pyschatries
also
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meintioned
Correct your spelling
mentioned
 that reading through an electronic platform can make youth easily
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 track and
this
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 can reduce their
conncentration
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concentration
 level.
Moreover
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,
instead
Linking Words
 of reading and understanding the text written in the
book
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 they just tend to skim and scan.
Secondly
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, most of
old
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the old
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 generation prefer to read
books
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 as a
hardcopy
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, as they believe that reading an actual solid
book
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give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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 you the
spirite
Correct your spelling
spirit
 of reading compared to any other form of reading.
Furthermore
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,
certain
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the certain
show examples
book
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 has
it's
Replace the word
its
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 own value and can not be found
through
Change preposition
on
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Add an article
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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. In 2015 Khartoum
school
Capitalize word
School
show examples
 for
girls
Capitalize word
Girls
show examples
, carried a research, dividing a certain number of students into
Add an article
the group
a group
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group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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, who use the electronic library and others who read in the ordinary library
at the end
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 of the year the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 who used to read
books
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 from the library shows a higher level of academic
preformance
Correct your spelling
performance
 compared to other students. In conclusion, both methods of reading have advantages and drawbacks. To give a clear example, digital
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book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 can at some point be expensive to get.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
hardcopy
Use synonyms
books
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 can be cheaper to afford and can increase the level of alertness in the brain and help students to focus more
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 achieving the best academic levels. In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 really prefer reading
hardcopy
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books
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 because
people
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 can benefit more from reading
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Submitted by safayahia63 on

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sentence structure
Consider varying your sentence structure more to enhance readability and interest. Try incorporating complex sentences and different conjunctions.
development of ideas
To strengthen your argument, try integrating more specific examples or data to support your points. This will add depth to your essay and make your arguments more convincing.
typographical
Pay attention to typos and minor grammatical errors to improve the overall quality of your essay. A thorough proofreading session can significantly elevate your writing.
balance of discussion
While discussing both views, ensure to dedicate equal development to each perspective before stating your opinion. This balanced approach demonstrates critical examination of the topic.
introduction & conclusion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.
task response
You've effectively discussed both viewpoints before giving your own opinion, which meets the task requirement.
coherence & cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with a clear progression of ideas from one paragraph to the next.
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