Why teenagers are on the rise doing criminal activities worldwide?what are the causes and possible solutions

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I agree with the
statements
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statement
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that teenagers are
mosty
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mostly
involved in criminal
activities
. As teenagers are immature,they don't
knows
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know
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whats
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what's
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wrong or
whats
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what's
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right
moreever
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moreover
more ever
,poverty may be another reason for that. And lack of proper
guidances
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guidance
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,they
donot
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do not
know the
conesquences
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consequences
for
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of
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doing that dangerous activity. Starting with poverty.
In
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An
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early age
children
mostly try to earn money, as many
children
want to
suppose
Verb problem
support
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their family
hence
, When they don't find any job
then
they get attached
With
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To
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such
activities
.As
i
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I
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was watching
news
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the news
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that day"i boy of age 17 was involved in
robbery
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a robbery
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"When
police
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the police
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investigated he said that he
need
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needed
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money for his
mother
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mother's
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operation
laterly
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later
,
police
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the police
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found that his mother was in hospital. And lack of proper guidance
maybe
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may be
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one factor.
in
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At
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early ages
children
are immature so, they don't
knows
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know
show examples
whats
wrong and
whats
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what's
show examples
right.They
dont
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don't
know the consequences they will face
after
this
.Mostly, parents are uneducated so
due to
lack
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a lack
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of proper guidance
children
get
attach
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attached
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to
such
activities
. As
Its
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It
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said
that
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apply
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"every problem has a solution" we can
also
minimize
such
issues.
According to
me
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,
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government should provide Jobs to needy ones So,by
this
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apply
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doing
this
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this child
these children
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children
will be less involved in
such
activities
,As their basic
need
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needs
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will be
full
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fully
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filled.
Their
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There
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should be
proper
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a proper
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Seminar for younger ones. where They should be guided , what to do what not to .
Thier
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There
should be proper
counseling
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counselling
show examples
session
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sessions
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for younger ones.
Ther
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There
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should be strict regulations for everyone So, those who break
law
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the law
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should be punished. So, if we
adapt
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adopt
show examples
such
changes,we will change
in
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apply
show examples
our environment.Where trends of teenagers involved in criminal
activities
will decrease
Submitted by sammama250 on

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Language Use
Consider using a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and vary sentence structure for a richer reading experience.
Grammar
Pay attention to correct punctuation and sentence structure to improve clarity and readability.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance coherence by utilizing linking phrases effectively to connect ideas within and across paragraphs.
Introduction
For a stronger introduction, clearly state the essay topic and outline the main points that will be discussed.
Conclusion
In the conclusion, ensure to recap the main ideas discussed and possibly suggest a final recommendation or opinion.
Task Achievement
You have addressed the reasons and possible solutions to the rise in criminal activities among teenagers, which closely aligns with the task requirements.
Use of Examples
Your essay includes specific examples, which helps in supporting your main points and making your argument more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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