IELTS WRITING Task 1. The line graph illustrates the proportion of tourists who visited Brighton famous attractions in England from 1980 to 2010

IELTS WRITING Task 1. The line graph illustrates the proportion of tourists who visited Brighton famous attractions  in England from 1980 to 2010
The liner graph provided displays the percentage of tourists who visited Brighton attractions (art gallery, pavilion,
pier
and festival) in England from 1980 to 2010.
Overall
, it can be seen the
number
of
people
visiting
pavilion
Correct article usage
the pavilion
show examples
outnumbered all other attractions.
Moreover
, the
number
of
people
visting
Correct your spelling
visiting
Brighton
pier
Capitalize word
Pier
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was the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
among all,
however
during 2005 it exceeded the
number
of
people
going to art galleries. Regarding the most famous attractions among visitors, the percentage of
people
visiting the pavilion showed a significant increase of almost 25% from 1980 to 1995
then
it
follows
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
a downward trend reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 35% during 2000.
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
it almost remained constant for the next 10 years.
On the other hand
, from 1980
1985
Change preposition
to 1985
show examples
the
number
of
people
visiting art
galeries
Correct your spelling
galleries
increased
steadly
Correct your spelling
steadily
, following a steep decrease until it maintained a gradual drop. In terms of festivals and
pier
, visitors going to
festivels
Correct your spelling
festivals
was constant.
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
of
people
going to
pier beach
Correct your spelling
Pier Beach
show examples
was
fluctating
Correct your spelling
fluctuating
over the whole period of time.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pier, number, people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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