«Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation» To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
goverment's
Correct your spelling
government's
way of spending on artist's support has aroused
among
Change preposition
apply
show examples
various groups. The issue is perhaps in question by people, I disagree with
this
idea
that
Change preposition
of
show examples
reaching a decision
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
partial situation. Of all the reasons why I disagree with
this
idea, likely the most essential one is that
artists
who had success would bring advantages to their country. I suppose it
should't
Correct your spelling
shouldn't
be overlooked for others
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they don't have graceful pursuit.
For instance
, when they
created
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
well-turned works, their work will attract tourists.
In addition
, they might receive national support if they
get
Verb problem
become
show examples
famous. So, in my opinion, famous
artists
are more beneficial than supporting all
artists
in the country.
Hence
,
it is clear that
modern
artists
are more important to the country and the people.
Submitted by nejla.abdullayeva on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction Clarity
Make sure your introduction clearly presents your viewpoint on the statement given. Avoid vague terms and strive for a precise thesis statement.
Argument Support
Develop your paragraphs with clear main ideas supported by specific examples or evidence. This strengthens your argument and makes your stance clearer.
Conclusion Development
Incorporate a conclusion that neatly summarises your argument and restates your stance, offering a sense of closure to the reader.
Linking Words
Use a range of linking words to show the relationship between ideas, but ensure they are used appropriately to maintain clear logic and coherence.
Originality
Your essay presents a unique viewpoint, fostering discussion.
Positive Argumentation
You have a positive approach towards discussing the benefits brought by successful artists.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: