Some believe that people are naturally born as leaders while others feel that leadership skills can develop. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is argued among individuals that leadership comes from knowing some
skills
which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
relevant to
beign
Correct your spelling
being
a leader,
however
, other individuals have a distinctive view they say it
is comes
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
with human
nature
. In
this
essay, I will discuss both of these views and give my own opinion.
To begin
with, throughout history we witnessed so many
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
leaders who created a massive change in the world,
moreover
, some of them were so talented in
this
field which they did not
needed
Change the verb form
need
show examples
any education or learning
skills
about it, which is why I have the same opinion as those
people
who think it is all about the
nature
and the
carisma
Correct your spelling
charisma
of
people
which can shape a leader.
For instance
,
famous
Correct article usage
the famous
show examples
entrepernour
Correct your spelling
entrepreneur
Steve Jobs
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
had
Verb problem
did
show examples
not
have
Change the verb form
had
show examples
any experience or
skills
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
leadership ,even he
leaved
Correct your spelling
left
show examples
school and started his whole career in a small basement which was in his house,
however
, he became so
persperious
Correct your spelling
persistent
and
gain
Wrong verb form
gained
show examples
a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
fame and fortune. Admittedly, it is a fact that if someone starts to gain
a knowledge
Remove the article
knowledge
a piece of knowledge
show examples
about something or
having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
a background skill in any
fields
Fix the agreement mistake
field
show examples
, they can buy
themselvs
Correct your spelling
themselves
success.
Although
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
studying
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
something, not all
people
can
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
master
Fix the agreement mistake
masters
show examples
or
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
in it. It means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
some
people
do not have any talent or it is not in their
nature
, in
adition
Correct your spelling
addition
, no matter how hard they try to educate
themselvs
Correct your spelling
themselves
, they will never be enough
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
that field. Take my cousin as an example, she tried so hard to be a doctor, even
Correct word choice
though her
show examples
her
Correct word choice
though her
show examples
scores were so high,
however
, she could not
Correct your spelling
distinguish
distingushed
Correct your spelling
distinguish
what type of
Correct your spelling
diseases
deseases
Correct your spelling
diseases
people
had, which is why she
leaved
Correct your spelling
left
show examples
medical school.
To sum up
, as I
mantioned
Correct your spelling
mentioned
, my view is close to those individuals who believe
nature
is involved
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
becoming an
exellent
Correct your spelling
excellent
leader,
also
, it needs to be said that having
an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
show examples
about leadership
skills
is crucial too, but it is nothing without
carisma
Correct your spelling
charisma
.
Submitted by abbasisarina340 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Try to provide a more balanced discussion of both views before stating your opinion. Introduce your opinion after discussing both sides thoroughly.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on arranging your ideas more logically and linking them seamlessly. Consider using a wider range of linking words and ensure paragraphs flow smoothly from one idea to the next.
General Advice
Pay attention to spelling and grammar to enhance clarity and professionalism. Common errors can distract from the message and reduce the impact of your arguments.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as Steve Jobs, to support your point of view.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, framing your essay effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: