Nowadays ,many parents put pressure on their children so that they excel in schools as well as in other extracurricular activities. Why do parents do this? Is this a positive or a negative development for children?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
present society,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of
parents
Use synonyms
exert
pressure
Use synonyms
on their wards to excel in
accademic
Correct your spelling
academic
academics
and extracurricular activities.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss the prominent factors behind
this
Linking Words
trend
as well as
Linking Words
why
this
Linking Words
is a detrimental development for children.
To begin
Linking Words
with,the predominant reason behind parental
pressure
Use synonyms
is their concern about
bright
Correct article usage
the bright
show examples
future of their wards.To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,the
upbringers
Correct your spelling
upbringings
up bringers
believe that placing
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
show examples
on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
child
Use synonyms
will help them to do their best in
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
and pushing them in extracurricular activities will enhance their skills.For
insrance
Correct your spelling
instance
,
according to
Linking Words
a survey done in India in 2016 most of the
parents
Use synonyms
want their
child
Use synonyms
to be
toppet
Correct your spelling
topped
stopped
because of excessive competition in the world of replacements.
Therefore
Linking Words
,it is
parents
Use synonyms
' feeling of
inscurity
Correct your spelling
insecurity
about the good future of
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
child
Use synonyms
which
compell
Correct your spelling
compel
compels
compelled
them to pressurize their
child
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,though
parents
Use synonyms
put
pressure
Use synonyms
on their young ones with good
intension
Replace the word
intentions
show examples
,it has adverse effects on
all
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
over development of a
child
Use synonyms
.To explain
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, with the fear of failure and
burden
Correct article usage
the burden
show examples
of
fulfillin
Correct your spelling
fulfilling
unrealistic parental desires youngsters become
vicitims
Correct your spelling
victims
of stress,anxiety and poor mental health at
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
tender age.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
an article published in a newspaper,approximately 100 students commit suicide every year just because they were not able to get
marks
Correct article usage
the marks
show examples
expected by their
parents
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
,putting excess
pressure
Use synonyms
on
unmatured
Correct article usage
an unmatured
show examples
mind can
proves
Change the verb form
prove
show examples
to be
life taking
Add a hyphen
life-taking
show examples
sometimes. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
parental
pressure
Use synonyms
can be
possitive
Correct your spelling
positive
to some extent
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
forcing them to grab
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
percentage always and scarwing them of
concequences
Correct your spelling
consequences
of not fulfilling the
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
show examples
can lead to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
havoc for both
parents
Use synonyms
and children.
Submitted by japjotsandhu8553 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Spelling Correction
Revise and correct spelling errors (e.g., 'accademic' should be 'academic', 'toppet' should be 'topper', 'replacements' should be 'employment') to enhance clarity.
Sentence Variety
Use a variety of sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and to demonstrate your language proficiency.
Simplification
Break down complex ideas into simpler, more concise sentences to improve readability.
Verb Tense Consistency
Ensure consistency in verb tenses throughout your essay to maintain clarity and cohesiveness.
Specific Examples
Consider adding more varied examples or citing more specific studies to support your points more robustly.
Introduction/Conclusion
You have successfully introduced and concluded your essay with a clear thesis statement.
Logical Structure
Your essay is structured logically, with clear paragraphs each handling a separate aspect of the topic.
Supported Main Points
You effectively use examples to support your main points, enhancing the persuasive element of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: