IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays ,many parents put pressure on their children so that they excel in schools as well as in other extracurricular activities. Why do parents do this? Is this a positive or a negative development for children?

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In
this
Linking Words
 present society,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
parents
Use synonyms
 exert
pressure
Use synonyms
 on their wards to excel in
accademic
Correct your spelling
academic
academics
 and extracurricular activities.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the prominent factors behind
this
Linking Words
 trend
as well as
Linking Words
 why
this
Linking Words
 is a detrimental development for children.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,the predominant reason behind parental
pressure
Use synonyms
 is their concern about
bright
Correct article usage
the bright
show examples
 future of their wards.To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,the
upbringers
Correct your spelling
upbringings
up bringers
 believe that placing
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
show examples
 on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
child
Use synonyms
 will help them to do their best in
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
 and pushing them in extracurricular activities will enhance their skills.For
insrance
Correct your spelling
instance
,
according to
Linking Words
 a survey done in India in 2016 most of the
parents
Use synonyms
 want their
child
Use synonyms
 to be
toppet
Correct your spelling
topped
stopped
 because of excessive competition in the world of replacements.
Therefore
Linking Words
 ,it is
parents
Use synonyms
' feeling of
inscurity
Correct your spelling
insecurity
 about the good future of
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
child
Use synonyms
 which
compell
Correct your spelling
compel
compels
compelled
 them to pressurize their
child
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,though
parents
Use synonyms
 put
pressure
Use synonyms
 on their young ones with good
intension
Replace the word
intentions
show examples
,it has adverse effects on
all
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 over development of a
child
Use synonyms
.To explain
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, with the fear of failure and
burden
Correct article usage
the burden
show examples
 of
fulfillin
Correct your spelling
fulfilling
 unrealistic parental desires youngsters become
vicitims
Correct your spelling
victims
 of stress,anxiety and poor mental health at
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 tender age.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 an article published in a newspaper,approximately 100 students commit suicide every year just because they were not able to get
marks
Correct article usage
the marks
show examples
 expected by their
parents
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
 ,putting excess
pressure
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 on
unmatured
Correct article usage
an unmatured
show examples
 mind can
proves
Change the verb form
prove
show examples
 to be
life taking
Add a hyphen
life-taking
show examples
 sometimes. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 parental
pressure
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 can be
possitive
Correct your spelling
positive
 to some extent
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
forcing them to grab
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
 percentage always and scarwing them of
concequences
Correct your spelling
consequences
 of not fulfilling the
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
show examples
 can lead to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
havoc for both
parents
Use synonyms
 and children.

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Spelling Correction
Revise and correct spelling errors (e.g., 'accademic' should be 'academic', 'toppet' should be 'topper', 'replacements' should be 'employment') to enhance clarity.
Sentence Variety
Use a variety of sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and to demonstrate your language proficiency.
Simplification
Break down complex ideas into simpler, more concise sentences to improve readability.
Verb Tense Consistency
Ensure consistency in verb tenses throughout your essay to maintain clarity and cohesiveness.
Specific Examples
Consider adding more varied examples or citing more specific studies to support your points more robustly.
Introduction/Conclusion
You have successfully introduced and concluded your essay with a clear thesis statement.
Logical Structure
Your essay is structured logically, with clear paragraphs each handling a separate aspect of the topic.
Supported Main Points
You effectively use examples to support your main points, enhancing the persuasive element of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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