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Band 4.5

some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstance of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #punishments #type #crime #circumstance #motivation #account #punishment
In
today'society
Correct your spelling
society
, the issue of whether the
punishments
 should be fixed or based on their situation and their personality has sparked a degree of controversy among
people
.
This
 essay will justify it with argumentation. On the one hand, there are some powerful arguments asserting that the penalty should be fixed .
Firstly
, because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
justice, many
offerenses
Correct your spelling
offences
 would have a sense of fairness
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their society. Much scientific evidence
indicate
Change the verb form
indicates
show examples
 that if the crime
lives
Wrong verb form
is committed
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 country where
their
Change the word
the
show examples
law
 is
fairness
Replace the word
fair
show examples
, they wouldn't discriminate or
bias
Wrong verb form
be biased
show examples
with
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in
show examples
 any different circumstances, which leads to
healthier
Add an article
a healthier
show examples
 society.
Secondly
, the
detterrence
Correct your spelling
deterrence
 coming from the fixed
punishments
,
such
 as
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
 penalty or life
imprisonmant
Correct your spelling
imprisonment
, could make the fear of
guilty
Replace the word
guilt
show examples
 between
people
. Many scientists assumed that when individuals encounter
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strict
purnishments
Correct your spelling
punishments
punishment
, they would be scared of doing anything which is unlawful, which positively
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
safety among
people
. Notwithstanding, I
also
 agree with those who argue that the punishment should be
relied
Verb problem
based
show examples
 on the personal situation.
Firsty
Correct your spelling
First
, because of some inevitable circumstances,
people
 couldn't predict it before.
For instance
, the driver is driving on the road,
suddenly
Correct word choice
and suddenly
show examples
crash
Correct subject-verb agreement
crashes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 walker who
violate
Change the verb form
violates
show examples
 the
law
 of traffic, which leads to
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 unprecedented accident.
Secondly
, the
punishments
 should be changed
due to
Correct article usage
the offense's
show examples
offense's
Change the spelling
offence's
show examples
 attitude. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 some evidence
Wrong verb form
showcasing
show examples
showcase
Wrong verb form
showcasing
show examples
 that the opportunities of
regreting
Correct your spelling
regretting
beonged
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to the crime play an
Correct your spelling
important
impotant
Correct your spelling
important
 role in the
law
, which makes them
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
rehabilitation
rehabitation
Correct your spelling
rehabilitation
 to
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
changes
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
 their mistakes. In conclusion, it seems to me that the
punishments
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 be decided flexibly. By
Correct your spelling
understanding
understangding
Correct your spelling
understanding
 all the pros and cons,
people
 should not violate the
law
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Structure
Try to use a clear and consistent structure in your essay. Introduce your main ideas in the introduction, develop them in separate body paragraphs, and summarize them in the conclusion.
Language Use
Work on the precise use of vocabulary and grammar to make your points clearer and more persuasive. Avoid spelling mistakes and strive for grammatical accuracy to enhance your argument's clarity.
Content
Incorporate relevant examples to support your arguments more effectively. Examples provide concrete evidence for your claims and make your essay more convincing.
Introduction/Conclusion Development
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are fully developed. State your thesis clearly in the introduction and succinctly summarize your main points in the conclusion to round off your essay effectively.
Task Response
You addressed both views and gave your own opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay shows an effort to structure arguments logically with clear progression between them.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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