The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003.

The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003.
The given graph illustrates the proportion of
retirement
age of males and females in six countries in the year 2003.
Overall
, the highest
number
of
retirement
age on males was in
Korea
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
followed by France as the lowest.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand, the highest
number
of
retirement
age
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
Correct article usage
the female
show examples
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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gender
wad
Correct your spelling
was
show examples
in
Korea
while
the lowest was
France
Change preposition
in France
show examples
.
To begin
with,
Korea
became first ranked in the
number
of
retirement
ages in male gender with 68
years
and 8
months
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
followed by Japan in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second ranked with 67
years
and 4
months
. After that, other countries
such
as
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
States, Australia, and Italy were ranked sequentially in
third,
fourth and fifth
position
in the
number
of
retirement
ages with 65
years
and 7
months
for the United States, 64
years
and 1 month for Australia, and Italy with 58
years
and 2
months
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other hand, the
top ranked
Add a hyphen
top-ranked
show examples
number
of
retirement
ages in female gender was
Korea
with 67
years
and 2
months
and Japan was in the second
position
with 66
years
and 9
months
. For the next
position
Add a comma
position,
show examples
there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
States with 64
years
and 2
months
for the third
position
, Australia
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
the fourth
position
with 63
years
and 5
months
, and Italy in
fifth
Correct article usage
the fifth
show examples
position
with 57
years
and 3
months
. Meanwhile, the latest ranked was France with 56
years
and 9
months
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words retirement, number, korea, years, months, position with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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