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Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003.

The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003.
#retirement #age #males #females #six #countries
The given graph illustrates the proportion of
retirement
 age of males and females in six countries in the year 2003.
Overall
, the highest
number
 of
retirement
 age on males was in
Korea
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
followed by France as the lowest.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, the highest
number
 of
retirement
 age
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
Correct article usage
the female
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female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 gender
wad
Correct your spelling
was
show examples
 in
Korea
while
 the lowest was
France
Change preposition
in France
show examples
.
To begin
 with,
Korea
 became first ranked in the
number
 of
retirement
 ages in male gender with 68
years
 and 8
months
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
followed by Japan in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second ranked with 67
years
 and 4
months
. After that, other countries
such
 as
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States, Australia, and Italy were ranked sequentially in
third,
fourth and fifth
position
 in the
number
 of
retirement
 ages with 65
years
 and 7
months
 for the United States, 64
years
 and 1 month for Australia, and Italy with 58
years
 and 2
months
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, the
top ranked
Add a hyphen
top-ranked
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number
 of
retirement
 ages in female gender was
Korea
 with 67
years
 and 2
months
 and Japan was in the second
position
 with 66
years
 and 9
months
. For the next
position
Add a comma
position,
show examples
 there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States with 64
years
 and 2
months
 for the third
position
, Australia
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the fourth
position
 with 63
years
 and 5
months
, and Italy in
fifth
Correct article usage
the fifth
show examples
position
 with 57
years
 and 3
months
. Meanwhile, the latest ranked was France with 56
years
 and 9
months
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words retirement, number, korea, years, months, position with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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