IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In maby countries, governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

#maby #countries #governments #technology #government #money
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Today, in many parts of the
world
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, the authorities of countries allocate their
imprest
Correct your spelling
interest
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 on
technology
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 in order to upgrade the well-being of
its'
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its
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 community.
This
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 might be
due to
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 the rising demand
of
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for
show examples
 technological devices people tend to depend on their day
today
Correct your spelling
to day
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 chores. In my opinion, I think it is enormously beneficial to the people in the country and to the
world
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 as a whole. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss and arrive at a reasonable conclusion with examples from my own experience.
Firstly
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, in recent years,
development
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the development
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 of
technology
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 has started to play a crucial role in
an
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the
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 economy of a region.
For instance
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, Japan; the country with
highest
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the highest
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 technological advancement recently created a
Human serving
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human-serving
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 robot. The coding of that was to help and support housewives in almost every work in houses
such
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 as cleaning,
vaccuming
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vacuuming
 and cooking.
This
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 robot made a huge positive image on
the
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apply
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society regarding the
on going
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ongoing
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 leaderships who supported to
produce
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production
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this
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of this
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 remarkable thing at that time.
Additionally
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, the export industry in Japan
was
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apply
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soared in just
few
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a few
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 seconds resulting
a
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in a
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record breaking
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record-breaking
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 income
to
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for
show examples
 the country.
Secondly
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, I would like to depict
about
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
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public transportation and how the new technological methods have eased
the
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apply
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transportation
to
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for
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 the public. In India, the
cropping up
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cropping-up
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 population used to travel in
jam packed
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jam-packed
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trains
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 which took days to travel to the desired destination. Today,
the
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apply
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hightech
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high-tech
 electric
trains
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 are their travel angels because new
technology
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 was able to develop the
trains
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 with
high speed
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high-speed
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 engines so that there were more rounds of
trains
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 shifts
were
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apply
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occupied and the community had more chances to choose when to book the
trains
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.
While
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 the overlook is positive, I absolutely think the consideration in allocating on
technology
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 is one of the bravest steps
took
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taken
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 by all the
parlimentaries
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parliamentarians
 in the
world
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. After all, the main aim of developing the lives of each and every nation around the
world
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,
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apply
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 will be highly saturated by the enhancement of technological devices and making them familiar to
public
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the public
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.
To sum up
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, in almost all
the
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apply
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parts of the
world
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,
the
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apply
show examples
developing
technology
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 plays a major factor
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in interacting
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interacting
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interactions
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 with
the
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apply
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individuals. As it is a vital factor of a nation, it should be provided with
financial
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the financial
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 support it requires
time
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from time
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 to time.
This
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 will surely
leads
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lead
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 to the betterment of the commodities in all the
world
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.
Submitted by amadisilva2 on

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logical structure
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coherence
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coherence
Consider varying your sentence structure to create a more engaging and dynamic essay.
grammatical accuracy
Review your essay for minor spelling or grammatical errors that can be easily corrected for cleaner presentation.
supported main points
Use specific examples to support your arguments; this makes your essay more convincing and grounded in reality.
introduction conclusion present
Clearly address all parts of the prompt in your introduction, and ensure your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
task response
Your essay effectively addresses the topic and provides relevant examples and arguments.
supported main points
The use of examples, such as those from Japan and India, enhances your arguments and provides clear support for your points.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay, reinforcing your main arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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