IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The graph below shows the spending of UK residents on visits abroad between 1993 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the spending of UK residents on visits abroad between 1993 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#uk #residents #visits #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The diagram provides information about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
UK citizens' expenditures on travelling to foreign countries for various purposes from 1993 to 2013.
Overall
, the graph illustrates that spending on abroad journeys mostly grew during the whole period
nevertheless
, the different travelling reasons took various amounts of money. The entire quantity of billions spent on holidays started to grow from nine and reached its peak of about 25
billion
 in 2008.
However
, it dropped
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 22
billion
 in 2009 because of
crisis
Correct article usage
the crisis
show examples
 growth
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
stopped for four years and only after that problems grew again to the level of almost 24
billion
 pounds in the year of 2013.
Likewise
, the line of the friend visits spending started from the number of 1
billion
 in 1993 and grew gradually until the quantity of 5
billion
.
In contrast
, the business and the miscellaneous spending started from levels 2 and 1
billion
 pounds respectively and were not rising
so
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 fast as other voyage expenses and finished with the numbers of 5 and 1.5
billion
 pounds simultaneously in 2013.
Submitted by madinabonu.bm on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words billion with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: