The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#consideration #career #job #income

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Although

Linking Words

many

people

Use synonyms

believe that high revenue should be the most significant to consider

while

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choosing a

job

Use synonyms

, I do not personally agree with

this

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argument, and in

this

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essay, I would argue that there are various factors, which are more vital in

this

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case. On the one hand, the main factor in

job

Use synonyms

application is interest. It is more possible for

people

Use synonyms

to fail and have to change

the

Change the word

their

show examples

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

if they prioritize the amount of salary over what they enjoy doing.

However

Linking Words

, individuals who opt

their

Change preposition

for their

show examples

profession by their own interests have a better chance to thrive and achieve their career goals sooner. For

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

example, many students

are being

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

forced by their parents to become either

doctor

Fix the agreement mistake

doctors

show examples

engineer

Fix the agreement mistake

engineers

show examples

over

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last

Correct article usage

the last

show examples

ten years in my country, Iran.

As a result

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, there was

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

research that showed the rate of changing

major

Fix the agreement mistake

majors

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from medical care and engineering to art was massive during the same period.

On the other hand

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, another major factor to have in mind when individuals are enrolling

Change preposition

for a

show examples

job

Use synonyms

job

Use synonyms

safety. Even though it is an obvious key factor, some

people

Use synonyms

might not know how much it matters. By way of example,

due to

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the development of science and technology, many

people

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lost their

job

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in the

last

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century, and have been replaced by automatic machines. AI improvement may be

human-being

Correct your spelling

human

show examples

next challenge; because of

this

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making

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

sure to opt

Change preposition

for a

show examples

job

Use synonyms

in which they are indispensable employees. In conclusion, I think that

while

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earning a reasonable amount of money is essential, interest and

job

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safety have more importance than high earnings.

Submitted by mohi.rezaiee on Sat May 11 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your examples are specific and directly related to your main points. While your essay mentions a study in Iran, including more detailed information or statistics could strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of linking words to enhance the flow of your essay.

task achievement

Clarify and expand your conclusion to succinctly summarize your main arguments and reinforce your position. This will make your essay feel more complete and persuasive.

task achievement

You did well in addressing the prompt and developing a structured argument that opposes the notion that income should be the primary concern when choosing a career.

coherence cohesion

Your essay effectively uses paragraphs to organize ideas, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

task achievement

The example from Iran adds relevance and supports your argument, illustrating the importance of choosing a career based on interest and not just income.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
job satisfaction
long-term happiness
personal fulfillment
financial stability
passion
quality of life
work-life balance
career advancement
societal impact
income disparity
material success
monetary compensation
wealth accumulation
economic well-being

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The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people think that painting and music do not directly improve the quality of people. Therefore, government should not spend too much money on artistic projects. Do you agree or disagree?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Today more and more people want things instantly (eg. goods , services, news). Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that consumerism can boost the economy and create business and jobs. Others consider that society becomes a ‘throw-away society’ producing unnecessary waste. Discuss both views and give your opinion.