IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be in case

#countries #home #people #be #case
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In some countries, nowadays, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people because the rent they pay could actually be used to buy a
house
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,
while
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 it could
also
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 be a big debt if they couldn’t manage their
money
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 well. One of the goals of many adults is to own their own
house
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,
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apply
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 because if they continue to pay
money
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 for renting the
house
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 for a long time, they could actually have bought the
house
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 with that
money
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, perhaps in the same amount of time. In
future
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future,
show examples
 the
house
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 that they could have bought could
also
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 have made a profit for them if they wanted to sell it or it could
also
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 be given to their children too
,
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apply
show examples
 so that their children don’t need to worry so much about paying for somewhere to live. Some people
also
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 think that if they have their own
house
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 it will help them to be seen as more trustworthy within their society.
Although
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 buying a
house
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 has a lot of benefits, it can sometimes be negative at the same time, especially if people have trouble managing their
money
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, because it is not only the cost of the
house
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 that they have to pay for, but there are a lot of important
money
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-related factors that they have to consider (like what??). If they don't make a good plan to buy their own
house
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 they could face having a big debt and
further
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 financial problems.
Submitted by np.napatping on

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task achievement
Including specific examples and further explanation about the negative impacts of buying a house would strengthen your argument and make your essay more comprehensive.
task achievement
Consider exploring both sides of the argument more evenly to provide a balanced viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more clearly and use a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance flow and coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Try to conclude your essay more effectively by summarizing your main points and stating your overall opinion clearly.
task achievement
You effectively demonstrate the importance of home ownership and its perceived benefits.
task achievement
Good use of examples to support your main points about the advantages of owning a home.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure, making it easier to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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