Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think is a positive or a negative development?
The traditional
Correct article usage
Traditional
medicine
has had a crucial impact in
our societies, and our quality of life has been improved by executing cutting-edge diagnosis techniques and Change preposition
on
treatments
. However
, many people has
replaced Change the verb form
have
to visit
their usual doctor Verb problem
apply
for
alternative and Change preposition
with
non-evidence based
Add a hyphen
non-evidence-based
medicine
. I think that both sides have advantages and disadvantages. In this
essay, I will explain my reasons in detail.
To start with, 'based-evidence medicine
' is a term that was adopted many centuries ago due to
the neccesity
of finding explanations and Correct your spelling
necessity
creatining
procedures in order to alleviate and cure illnesses that caused many deaths, Correct your spelling
creating
such
as Yellow Fever, Malarya
, Influenza, etc. Correct your spelling
Malaria
For
this
reason, treatments
that have been invented are based on their specific pathophysiological mechanisms as well as
big-scale research done in the population. For example
, the COVID-19 disease, which started in 2019, had unknown physiological processes that were elucidated, and then
most of the directed treatments
reduced mortality and morbidity, namely mechanical ventilation, corticosterioids
, antibiotics, and antivirals.
Correct your spelling
corticosteroids
Conversely
, aboriginal and traditional theories have been supported by our ancestors as well as
they have been inherited generation by generation, many people still believe in treatments
and preventive measures that have no scientific evidence, such
as the importance of avoiding to eat
Change the verb form
eating
sweet
before Fix the agreement mistake
sweets
the
breakfast in order to reduce the contagious risk of gastrointestinal parasites. Correct article usage
apply
Besides
, there are other types of techniques that have been proposed, exemplified by The
Acupuncture. Correct article usage
apply
This
is a widely used Chinese tool that has been implemented not only to relieve pain and stress but to cure
. Correct pronoun usage
cure it
Then
, this
technique has been catapulted into the new generations.
To sum up
, medicine
either traditional or alternative have
been crucial in the improvement of Correct subject-verb agreement
has
the
life expectancy in societies. Correct article usage
apply
Then
, both should be recognized and their techniques must be carefully completed.Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on
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Task Achievement
Ensure that your main points are consistently supported by specific examples or evidence. While your essay includes examples, further detail or elaboration on these can strengthen your argument.
Language Accuracy
Review and correct grammatical errors and ensure consistent verb tense usage to improve clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence, make smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Using linking phrases effectively can help achieve this.
Task Achievement
Consider exploring both views more evenly to fully address the essay prompt. This balance allows for a more comprehensive discussion on the subject.
Introduction
You have effectively introduced the topic and presented an overview of both sides of the argument, setting a clear stage for your discussion.
Subject Understanding
Your essay demonstrates a good grasp of the subject matter, showing awareness of both traditional and alternative medicines.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, reinforcing the balance between traditional and alternative medicine views.