Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think is a positive or a negative development?

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The traditional
Correct article usage
Traditional
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medicine
Use synonyms
has had a crucial impact
in
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on
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our societies, and our quality of life has been improved by executing cutting-edge diagnosis techniques and
treatments
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.
However
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, many people
has
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have
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replaced
to visit
Verb problem
apply
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their usual doctor
for
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with
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alternative and
non-evidence based
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non-evidence-based
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medicine
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. I think that both sides have advantages and disadvantages. In
this
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essay, I will explain my reasons in detail. To start with, 'based-evidence
medicine
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' is a term that was adopted many centuries ago
due to
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the
neccesity
Correct your spelling
necessity
of finding explanations and
creatining
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creating
procedures in order to alleviate and cure illnesses that caused many deaths,
such
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as Yellow Fever,
Malarya
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Malaria
, Influenza, etc.
For
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this
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reason,
treatments
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that have been invented are based on their specific pathophysiological mechanisms
as well as
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big-scale research done in the population.
For example
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, the COVID-19 disease, which started in 2019, had unknown physiological processes that were elucidated, and
then
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most of the directed
treatments
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reduced mortality and morbidity, namely mechanical ventilation,
corticosterioids
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corticosteroids
, antibiotics, and antivirals.
Conversely
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, aboriginal and traditional theories have been supported by our ancestors
as well as
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they have been inherited generation by generation, many people still believe in
treatments
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and preventive measures that have no scientific evidence,
such
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as the importance of avoiding
to eat
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eating
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sweet
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sweets
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before
the
Correct article usage
apply
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breakfast in order to reduce the contagious risk of gastrointestinal parasites.
Besides
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, there are other types of techniques that have been proposed, exemplified by
The
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apply
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Acupuncture.
This
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is a widely used Chinese tool that has been implemented not only to relieve pain and stress but to
cure
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cure it
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.
Then
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,
this
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technique has been catapulted into the new generations.
To sum up
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,
medicine
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either traditional or alternative
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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been crucial in the improvement of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life expectancy in societies.
Then
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, both should be recognized and their techniques must be carefully completed.
Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your main points are consistently supported by specific examples or evidence. While your essay includes examples, further detail or elaboration on these can strengthen your argument.
Language Accuracy
Review and correct grammatical errors and ensure consistent verb tense usage to improve clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence, make smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Using linking phrases effectively can help achieve this.
Task Achievement
Consider exploring both views more evenly to fully address the essay prompt. This balance allows for a more comprehensive discussion on the subject.
Introduction
You have effectively introduced the topic and presented an overview of both sides of the argument, setting a clear stage for your discussion.
Subject Understanding
Your essay demonstrates a good grasp of the subject matter, showing awareness of both traditional and alternative medicines.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, reinforcing the balance between traditional and alternative medicine views.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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