IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Give detail information about the crimes in the newspaper and on television has the bad consequences.Some suggest that govenment should impose some restrictions.To what extent you agree or disagree.

#detail #information #crimes #newspaper #television #consequences #suggest #govenment #restrictions
Walking down the 'crime rate' data and
ruminerating
Correct your spelling
ruminating
 it over the past years, comes as a moral shock. I
percieve
Correct your spelling
perceive
, the crime rate may be mildly fluctuating; but the problem lies in the magnitude of these crimes. On thinking about
this
 in detail, my arc of logic tends to bend towards the fact that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should not impose restrictions. When it comes to giving out information, the process could be sensitised, regulated and censored. But I strongly resonate with the ideology behind the first
ammendement
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amendment
 and 'right to information'.
Furthermore
, it spreads awareness and helps
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society collectively see the consequences of a crime.
Submitted by shahjahanrajan on

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task achievement
Try to develop your arguments more thoroughly by providing specific examples or statistics to support your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Consider the structure of your essay. Make sure to have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Using more varied connectors and transition phrases can enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear position and a strong understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The use of nuanced language to express your views adds depth to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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