The higher proportion of older population will over take younger generation what is the reason? is it positive or negative development?

With the startling pace of social and scientific development in recent decades, the
poplulation
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population
of
the
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apply
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senior
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seniors
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is growing,
eventually
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and eventually
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, it will exceed the younger generation. In
such
circumstance
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circumstances
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, disadvantageous effects are unavoidable. There are a few sound reasons contributing to the growth of the aged
population
. First of all, owing to improvements in science, medication, and
techonology
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technology
,
people
tend to live healthier and longer in today's world. Many
diceases
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diseases
and
sickness
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sicknesses
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are no longer incurable,
for example
,
tubeculosis
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tuberculosis
(TB) was a death sentence to some
people
decades ago, but lives can be saved if the
paitients
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patients
are sent to hospital at an early stage. Another important factor is nowadays concept regarding family structure.
According to
a survey in Shanghai, China, nuclear families accounted for 70% and among them, over half
families
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of families
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would choose to have only one child.
As a result
, the senior
population
will outnumber the minor in
a
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the
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near future. We cannot deny that
this
trend will bring a few negative consequences.
To begin
with, the retiring
population
will impose
a
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apply
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great pressure on the government to maintain a satisfying healthcare system and pension policies.
In addition
, there will be a lack of labour force especially in the industries which need the employees to be physically fit.
For example
, construction work and service industry, to
certain
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a certain
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extent,
it
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apply
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hinders
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hinder
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the
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apply
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economic development. In
this
case,
joint
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a joint
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family style should be encouraged so that young
people
can shoulder the responsibilities of taking care of the elders,
meanwhile
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meanwhile,
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government and industries should promote incentives to encourage young
people
to conduct manual work. In conclusion, as every field is developing day by day, life expectancy is expanded. The
fast growing
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fast-growing
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old
population
can
casue
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cause
issues but I believe no matter how complicated the issue is now, the measures outlined above would constitute a good first step.
Submitted by carriexue23 on

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Grammar & Accuracy
Ensure more uniform control over sentence structure, avoiding minor grammatical inaccuracies and enhancing clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion
Broaden the usage of linking words to smoothly connect ideas and paragraphs, further improving coherence.
Lexical Resource
Incorporate a wider range of lexical resources to accurately express complex ideas and avoid repetition.
Task Response
Develop both sides of the argument (positive and negative impacts) more fully to enrich your task response.
Task Response
The essay adequately addresses the prompt, providing a reasoned argument regarding the implications of a growing older population.
Coherence & Cohesion
Well-organized paragraphs and a clear structure contribute to the overall coherence of the essay.
Supporting Evidence
Effective use of specific examples to support main points, enhancing the argumentative strength of the essay.
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