Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge o

Some governments in the world
allocating
Wrong verb form
allocate
show examples
more money
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
railway
construction
while
they pay less attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
roads.
Personally
Add a comma
Personally,
show examples
Im
Correct your spelling
I
partially agree with
this
concept because both of these
delivering
Replace the word
delivery
show examples
methods include positive and negative points. Even though
road
transportation is
more simple
Correct word choice
simpler
show examples
and
easy
Replace the word
easier
show examples
,
railway
carrying has become one of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
most economical and
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
effective
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
carrying
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
and
people
.The reason for
this
is
trains
are capable enough to
trasport
Correct your spelling
transport
a large number of goods and
people
at a time without any time
waste
Replace the word
wasted
show examples
for long destinations.And the other hand technology is improving day by day for
railways
.
People
are using
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
technologies
such
as magnetic
trains
,electric
trains
,bullet
trains
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc..
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
present days.
As a result
of
this
railway
has become
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
commercial and profitable transporting method in the modern world.For
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
japan has developed
Correct article usage
a
show examples
450km/h speed train and it has become more popular among
civillians
Correct your spelling
civilians
.
As a result
of these
factors
Add a comma
factors,
show examples
I believe that it is important to spend money on
railways
and there will be many
advanteges
Correct your spelling
advantages
for
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
country
as well as
for
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
government too. But
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the other hand
road
development
also
cannot be
neglect
Wrong verb form
neglected
show examples
.Because to carry goods and
people
for the places where the
trains
cannot travel,
road
transpotation
Correct your spelling
transportation
is much needed.
As well as
Rephrase
Also
show examples
railway
construction
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
high technology and doing
railway
projects is extremely expensive.For
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example in
Correct article usage
the U.S.A.
show examples
U.S.A.
Add a comma
U.S.A.,
show examples
there are only
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
railways
inside the
country
and
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of
tranpotation
Correct your spelling
transportation
is going through
roads
Fix the agreement mistake
road
show examples
.
To conclude
I believe that
railways
and
road
transportation both are important
ina
Correct your spelling
in a
show examples
country
to reach global
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
targets and to do
day today
Correct your spelling
day-to-day
show examples
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
for the
people
.By paying attention
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
both these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
methods a
country
can get so many
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
.
Submitted by withanalagekasunrandimal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure
Consider using a more structured approach in organizing your paragraphs. Introduce your main ideas clearly at the beginning of each paragraph, and ensure you have a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through your argument.
Language Usage
Aim to use a variety of complex sentence structures and advanced vocabulary to convey your ideas more effectively. This will enhance the sophistication of your writing and better demonstrate your English language proficiency.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the prompt throughout. Your opinion on the statement should be clear and consistently supported with reasoned arguments and examples.
Cohesion
Work on connecting your ideas more smoothly to improve the cohesion of your essay. Use linking words and phrases effectively to show the relationships between your ideas.
Use of Examples
You included examples to support your arguments, such as Japan's high-speed train. This is excellent for demonstrating task relevance and providing specific evidence to back up your points.
Balanced Argument
Your essay achieves a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which is good for the comprehensive exploration of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
What to do next:
Look at other essays: