Walking is important for health but the number of people walking has reduced. What is the reason of this situation? What can be done to takle the this problem?
Walking is believed to be advantageous for energy, surf the internet and use high-tech tools to improve their
nevertheless
, there is a decreasing number of people
walking nowadays. This
is because , in modern society, community
preferFix the agreement mistake
communities
Add the particle
to
health
instead
of walking. To deal with this
phenomenon, the authorities should propagate more about the drawbacks of not walking regularly and encourage residents to use walking machines
.
Some people
have an unchanged thought that walking takes a lot of their time and makes them feel tired. This
situation consequently
appears in hard weather. For instance
, sitting in a room with a
air-conditioner and surfing the internet is much better than going outside in hot weather for a walk, Change the article
an
this
is a common thought in some people
. Not only some individuals but also
whole families agree with this
idea and have no change in their children's thoughts, therefore
there have been more and more people
who are not into walking. And these problems can lead to many health
diseases such
as cardio vascular
or leg problems.
Because of the bad consequences for Correct your spelling
cardiovascular
health
, the authorities should give more methods to cope with matters. Walking machines
would be the best solution for those who are interested in doing things indoors. The walking machines
which are connected to the
electricity have no limit on time use and power, Correct article usage
apply
thus
, it is easier for the whole family to do exercise as well as
walk at home. Furthermore
, the authorities should spread more encouragement for the residents to walk because of its bad influence on health
. For instance
, advertising the drawbacks of sitting too much or not doing exercise on a wide range of social platforms can help people
realize the importance of walking and then
they can have their own methods to solve this
problem.
To sum up
, walking plays an enormous role in health
, hence
, governments should give more motivation for residents to walk more and introduce new walking machines
at home.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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Style
Your essay has a coherent structure and flows well from one idea to the next, but consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance readability and engagement.
Content
In the development of your main points, strive to include more specific examples and data to strengthen your arguments. While you mention general consequences and solutions, detailed examples would provide more depth to your essay.
Structure
You've effectively introduced and concluded your essay, capturing the essence of the topic. To further improve, ensure your conclusion succinctly summarizes key points and reflects on the topic's broader implications.
Understanding
You articulated the importance of walking and potential solutions to its decline in popularity, demonstrating a strong grasp of the topic.
Critical Thinking
Your suggestions, such as the use of walking machines and increased public awareness campaigns, are practical and thoughtful, showing your ability to think critically about solutions.
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