Walking is important for health but the number of people walking has reduced. What is the reason of this situation? What can be done to takle the this problem?

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Walking is believed to be advantageous for energy,
nevertheless
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, there is a decreasing number of
people
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walking nowadays.
This
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is because , in modern society,
community
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communities
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prefer
Add the particle
to
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surf the internet and use high-tech tools to improve their
health
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instead
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of walking. To deal with
this
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phenomenon, the authorities should propagate more about the drawbacks of not walking regularly and encourage residents to use walking
machines
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. Some
people
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have an unchanged thought that walking takes a lot of their time and makes them feel tired.
This
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situation
consequently
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appears in hard weather.
For instance
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, sitting in a room with
a
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an
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air-conditioner and surfing the internet is much better than going outside in hot weather for a walk,
this
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is a common thought in some
people
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. Not only some individuals but
also
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whole families agree with
this
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idea and have no change in their children's thoughts,
therefore
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there have been more and more
people
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who are not into walking. And these problems can lead to many
health
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diseases
such
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as
cardio vascular
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cardiovascular
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or leg problems. Because of the bad consequences for
health
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, the authorities should give more methods to cope with matters. Walking
machines
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would be the best solution for those who are interested in doing things indoors. The walking
machines
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which are connected to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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electricity have no limit on time use and power,
thus
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, it is easier for the whole family to do exercise
as well as
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walk at home.
Furthermore
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, the authorities should spread more encouragement for the residents to walk because of its bad influence on
health
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.
For instance
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, advertising the drawbacks of sitting too much or not doing exercise on a wide range of social platforms can help
people
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realize the importance of walking and
then
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they can have their own methods to solve
this
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problem.
To sum up
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, walking plays an enormous role in
health
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,
hence
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, governments should give more motivation for residents to walk more and introduce new walking
machines
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at home.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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Style
Your essay has a coherent structure and flows well from one idea to the next, but consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance readability and engagement.
Content
In the development of your main points, strive to include more specific examples and data to strengthen your arguments. While you mention general consequences and solutions, detailed examples would provide more depth to your essay.
Structure
You've effectively introduced and concluded your essay, capturing the essence of the topic. To further improve, ensure your conclusion succinctly summarizes key points and reflects on the topic's broader implications.
Understanding
You articulated the importance of walking and potential solutions to its decline in popularity, demonstrating a strong grasp of the topic.
Critical Thinking
Your suggestions, such as the use of walking machines and increased public awareness campaigns, are practical and thoughtful, showing your ability to think critically about solutions.
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