IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Money offered for post graduate research is limited; as a consequence, some people argue that financial support from the government should only be provided for scientific research rather than research for less useful sub. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It has been observed that funds for postgraduate
research
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 are insufficient.
However
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, other people argue that the
government
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 should release financial aid to only
science
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 theses rather than to less important
subjects
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. In my opinion, I think that, as per current situations, the
government
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 ought to raise more funds for
science
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research
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,
while
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 other useless topics. Nowadays,
due to
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 global warming, human error, and unwanted harmful diseases are occurring, for tackling them
science
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 is the foremost option to handle the situation.
In other words
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, in the
last
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 few decades, human civilisation and animal life have suffered through various massacre events, and we never know where the next conflict will erupt.
For example
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, covid -19 event, in that period, many people lost their lives, jobs,
economic
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and economic
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 support.
Therefore
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, to overcome
such
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 type of destructive conditions, scientists have to prepare for them with multiple cures and a thesis to eliminate them.
Furthermore
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, Technological advancement has grown utterly, and new equipment can improve the
research
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 accuracy level, processing time, and efforts.
In addition
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, many recent graduates
MIT
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of MIT
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 and machine learning students trying to invent some important
innovation
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innovations
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 to help
science
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 and environment issues, but
due to
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 the scarcity of funds, they could not complete their
research
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. so the
government
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 can help them through
scholarship
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a scholarship
the scholarship
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program
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programs
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, the right platform to experiment and direct financial support
support
Remove the redundancy
apply
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to achieve
achieve
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apply
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perfect results.
on the contrary
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, unnecessary
subjects
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 fields
such
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 as some specific art, entertainment and various fashion exhibitions. authorities can less focus on these types of
subjects
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 because they are less imperative for the human future.
For instance
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, amusement
subjects
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, art concerts and fashion are not contributing as
such
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 valuable inputs in
future
Correct article usage
the future
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 betterment of
world
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the world
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 aspect.
thus
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, the
government
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 can provide more money for
science
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 innovation rather than unnecessary
subjects
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. In conclusion, The
government
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 should have supported scientist and their innovative
research
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 development through financial aid rather than useless
subjects
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 because they could not contribute as much importance to the future betterment of the world.

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Task Achievement
Remember to provide a balanced view by exploring both sides of the argument before stating your opinion. This will help in fully addressing the prompt and making your stance clearer.
Task Achievement
Work on expanding and explaining your examples in more depth. Specific, detailed examples strengthen an argument and make it more convincing.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use paragraphs to clearly separate your ideas. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and supporting sentences. This makes your essay easier to follow.
Coherence & Cohesion
Be cautious with the repetition of words and phrases. Synonyms and varied expressions can enrich your text and demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary.
Coherence & Cohesion
You presented a clear introduction and conclusion that succinctly represent your opinion and summarize main ideas.
Task Achievement
The essay demonstrates an understanding of the need for scientific research in the face of global challenges, which is relevant to the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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