Social media is becoming an increasingly large part of people’s lives. What are the effects of the trend? Do you believe this is a positive or negative trend for society? Write at least 250 words

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
INTERNET
Use synonyms
COMMUNTY
Correct your spelling
COMMUNITY
IS THE MOST USED PLATFORM IN TODAYS WORLD. SOCIAL
MEDIA
Use synonyms
HAS BECOME AN EFFECTIVE WAY OF COMMUNICATING WITH EACH OTHER
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
AND FINDING NEW AND OLD FRIENDS.
ALTHOUGH
Linking Words
,
THIS
Linking Words
HAS
ALOT
Correct your spelling
A LOT
OF BENEFITS IN BEING INTERACTIVE,
BUT
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
IT
ALSO
Linking Words
COMES WITH MANY DRAWBACKS
SUCH
Linking Words
AS
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
RUINING THE INNOCENCE OF
CHILDREN
Use synonyms
AND MAKING
PEOPLE
Use synonyms
BELIEVE EVERYTHING THEY SEE OVER THE
INTERNET
Use synonyms
DISPLAYS THE TRUTH. IN
THIS
Linking Words
ESSAY I WILL EXPLAIN WHY SOCIAL
MEDIA
Use synonyms
CAN AFFECT THE SOCIETY
NEGETIVELY
Correct your spelling
NEGATIVELY
.
FIRSTLY
Linking Words
, THE
INTERNET
Use synonyms
HAS INFLUENCED YOUNGSTERS SO MUCH THAT, MANY
CHILDREN
Use synonyms
ARE NO MORE INTERESTED IN NATURE, OR PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES BUT RATHER SPEND ALL THEIR TIME SURFING THE SOCIAL
MEDIA
Use synonyms
APPS WHICH
BRINGS
Correct subject-verb agreement
BRING
show examples
NO BENEFIT TO THEM. IN 2019, WHEN THE PANDEMIC HIT THE WHOLE WORLD, MANY
CHILDREN
Use synonyms
BETWEEN THE
AGE
Fix the agreement mistake
AGES
show examples
9
Change preposition
OF 9
show examples
-15 INDULGED
INTO
Change preposition
IN
show examples
SOCIAL
MEDIA
Use synonyms
APPS LIKE TIKTOK WHICH AFFECTED THEM IN THEIR STUDIES AND MADE THEM LOSE THEIR INNOCENCE BY WATCHING INAPPROPRIATE
VIDOES
Correct your spelling
VIDEOS
ON THE
INTERNET
Use synonyms
.
FURTHERMORE
Linking Words
, IT NOT
JUST
Rephrase
ONLY
show examples
AFFECTS THEIR CHILDHOOD BUT
ALSO
Linking Words
MAKES THEM DISCONNECTED FROM THEIR SURROUNDINGS WHICH LEADS TO DEPRESSION. IN 2020, MY
FRIENDS
Change noun form
FRIEND'S
show examples
BROTHER WHO WAS ONLY 14 YEARS OLD, ATTEMPTED TO COMMIT SUICIDE BECAUSE HE WAS MADLY IN LOVE WITH A CATFISHER ON THE
INTERNET
Use synonyms
.
HOWEVER
Linking Words
, IT NOT JUST ONLY RUINED HIS CHILDHOOD, BUT
ALSO
Linking Words
MADE HIM MENTALLY UNSTABLE WITH
LACK
Correct article usage
A LACK
show examples
OF FOCUS
IN
Change preposition
ON
show examples
HIS STUDIES. MOROVER, MANY INDIVIDUALS BELIEVE WHATEVER THEY SEE ON THE
INTERNET
Use synonyms
IS THE TRUTH, WHICH MAKES THEM LACK CONFIDENCE IN THEMSELVES.
PEOPLE
Use synonyms
ON SOCIAL
MEDIA
Use synonyms
SHOWCASE
THE
Change preposition
TO THE
show examples
VIEWERS
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
LIKE
Correct word choice
THAT
show examples
EVERYTHING IS PERFECT IN THEIR WORLD BY POSTING GLAMOUROUS VIDEOS OR HAPPY PICTURES WHICH ONLY
SHOWS
Correct subject-verb agreement
SHOW
show examples
THE
POSTIVE
Correct your spelling
POSITIVE
SIDE OF THEIR
LIFE
Fix the agreement mistake
LIVES
show examples
.
THIS
Linking Words
INFACT
Correct your spelling
FACT
, DEPRESSES THE COMMUNITY AS THEY THINK THAT THEIR LIFE IS ONLY FILLED WITH OBSTACLES AND THEY
HAVE
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
ARE UNLUCKY TO BE LIVING WITH
SUCH
Linking Words
TRAUMATIC
Correct article usage
A TRAUMATIC
show examples
LIFE. HALF OF THE INDIANS ARE INFLUENCED BY BOLLYWOOD
CELEBRATIES
Correct your spelling
CELEBRITIES
WHO
Change the pronoun
WHOM
show examples
THEY SEE ON INSTAGRAM OR FACEBOOK, WHICH FORCES THEM TO BECOME ANOREXIA TO JUST LOOK SLIM AND THIN LIKE THE
CELEBRATIES
Correct your spelling
CELEBRITIES
.
THIS
Linking Words
IS
HOWEVER
Linking Words
, A
DISORDER
Use synonyms
CALLED SOCIAL
MEDIA
Use synonyms
DISORDER
Use synonyms
WHICH DEMOTIVATES
PEOPLE
Use synonyms
ON
Change preposition
FROM
show examples
BELIEIVING IN THEMSELVES AND
MAKING
Wrong verb form
MAKES
show examples
THEM AGORAPHOBIC AS THEY THINK THEY ARE NOT BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH TO BE CONFIDENT.
TO CONCLUDE
Linking Words
, SOCIAL
MEDIA
Use synonyms
MIGHT BRING
PEOPLE
Use synonyms
CLOSER TO EACH OTHER, BUT IT
ALSO
Linking Words
INCREASES THEIR ANXIETY AND GIVES THEM MENTAL PROBLEMS LIKE ANXIETY
DISORDER
Use synonyms
OR PANIC
DISORDER
Use synonyms
.
ALTHOUGH
Linking Words
, THE
INTERNET
Use synonyms
FORUM
Fix the agreement mistake
FORUMS
show examples
HAS
Correct subject-verb agreement
HAVE
show examples
DEFINTELY
Correct your spelling
DEFINITELY
BECOME A VERY IMPORTANT PART
IN
Change preposition
OF
show examples
PEOPLES
Change noun form
PEOPLE'S
show examples
LIVES,
BUT
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
THE ONLY REASON TO OVERCOME SOCIAL
MEDIA
Use synonyms
DISORDER
Use synonyms
IS TO LIMIT SCREEN TIME AND DO MORE PHYSICAL ACTIVITY LIKE WALKING AROUND THE BEACH OR IN THE PARK.
IN ADDITION
Linking Words
, IT IS VITAL TO INTRODUCE
CHILDREN
Use synonyms
TO NATURE AND KEEP THEM BUSY BY ALLOWING THEM TO MAKE FRIENDS IN PERSON RATHER THAN ON THE
INTERNET
Use synonyms
TO PRESERVE THEIR INNOCENCE.
Submitted by khadiii60 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

presentation
Try to avoid the use of all caps in your writing as it can make your essay harder to read and can imply shouting. Using standard capitalization will improve the overall readability and presentation.
grammar
Be mindful of spelling and grammatical errors, as these can distract from your argument and make your essay harder to understand. Consider reviewing your essay for common errors such as incorrect verb tenses, singular/plural forms, and punctuation.
coherence
You've done well to structure your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To strengthen coherence, ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next. Transition words and phrases can help to connect your ideas more clearly.
content
While providing examples, try to ensure they are directly relevant and clearly explain how they support your main points. This will enhance the effectiveness of your argument.
balanced argument
Engage critically with the essay prompt by discussing both positive and negative aspects of a trend for a more balanced argument, unless the prompt directs otherwise. This allows for a deeper exploration of the topic.
structure
You presented a clear thesis statement and followed a structured format to organize your ideas.
examples
The use of specific examples, like the impact of social media apps during the pandemic, helps to support your points effectively.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points made in the essay and reiterates your stance on the topic, which is good practice.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: